Topical Chat, April 10, 2006

April 10, and the Phils are 1-5. All is right with the world.

1. On a man in Malaysia who got a phone bill for $218 trillion and was ordered to pay it within 10 days:
“Do you have change for a $300-trillion?”

2. On an Australian federal police officer who has been suspended for consulting a clairvoyant as part of an investigation into a death threat made to the country's prime minister:
“He has been replaced by a dingo.”

3. On a golden retriever who was on the run for two years, and was unable to be caught even with satellite tracking, helicopter surveillance, nor dart guns – but was finally caught with a ham:
“And to think we still can’t catch Bin Laden.”

4. On a mailman in London who hoarded thousands of letters and parcels at his home (he claims he hoarded these parcels because they made his mail bag too heavy to carry):
“If these barcels were just bulk advertising, I think the mailman should get a raise.”

5. On a Minnesota man who lets people vote on his web site to determine what programs he'll watch:
“This is probably how ‘According to Jim’ is still on the air.”

6. On a PA judge who refused to allow a man to legally sign his driver's license as 'God:'
“The man pleaded and pleaded with Judge Pontius Pilot.”

7.On an event at a park in Stone Mountain, Georgia, that held an Easter Egg Hunt with over 300,000 eggs:
“According to attendees, the event was ‘egg-shell-ent.”

8. On a college baseball player (in California) who was trying to sue the other team because he got hit by a pitch:
“This guy should never be allowed to play any sport again. I would say more about this guy, but I’m afraid of a lawsuit.”