Topical Chat, March 13, 2006

Lovely weekend – it truly felt like Spring. Thank goodness there is snow in the weather forecast for this week.

1. On a school district in Santa Clara, California, that is considering banning all junk-food:
“However, magic brownies will still be allowed for birthdays.”

2. On customs agents reporting that they found more than five tons of pot hidden in a truck-load of TV sets stopped at the border in San Diego:
“Also, the TV’s only show Cheech and Chong movies.”

3. On an Oregon newlywed couple fighting a ticket that a cop gave them for cuddling in the front seat of a car:
“I guess the couple didn’t see the “No Cuddling” signs.”

4. On the 48th annual Rattlesnack Roundup that took place in Sweetwater, Texas this weekend:
“Hmmph, finally Sweetwater, Texas, has something else to be proud of besides Barry Windham.”

5. On a Missouri woman selling advertising rights to her pregnancy for $1,000 on eBay:
“This Placenta, brought to you by Alpo, ‘ Now With Real Human Placenta!’”

6. On a man wining a regional contest of 'Rock, Paper, Scissors'; and qualifying for the Vegas tournament:
“Yeah, but who won the Heads-or-Tails tournament?”

7. On New Hampshire police rescuing a hungry young moose tangled in a child's swingset:
“Why haven’t I heard about this child-eating-moose epidemic sooner? Now they are using swingsets as cammo?”

8. On a blind radio baseball reporter getting married at home plate of Yankee Stadium:
“When told of this, the reporter said, “Sh$t, I’m a Red Sox fan!”