Topical Chat, February 20, 2006

Thank goodness, President’s Day, and I have to work (at least there wasn’t any traffic on the way to work ….heh-heh).

1. On a 62-year-old California woman who Gave birth to healthy baby boy:
“At the time of birth, the boy was 37-years old.”

2. On Dutch prostitutes giving the public a peek behind the curtains of Amsterdam's famed Red Light District in the hopes of staving off an attempt by city politicians to stop lingerie-clad women from advertising themselves in neon-lit windows:
“Fortunately, the city politicians had already been introduced on many previous occasions to these women.”

3. On an Oklahoma man being accused of biting his girlfriend’s nose off:
“He was quoted as saying that her boogers tasted pretty good.”

4. On a shell full of TNT (Vietnam war era) sitting in a person’s front lawn as an ornament for at least two decades:
“No word yet on what authorities will do about the atomic bomb bird bath in the back yard.”

5. On a northern Illinois resident finding a bird's head in a can of pinto beans:
“It was more than he could ‘swallow.’….. get it?”

6. On the group Americans for More Civility honoring New York City residents for their "forbearance and aplomb" during the transit strike that hit at the height of the holiday shopping season:
“They are expected to award Iran with the ‘World’s Most Rational Country’ award early next month.”

7. On Connecticut's Foxwoods Resort Casino offering a new signature cocktail - the Sapphire martini that is made with Blue Curacao, Bombay Sapphire Gin, a splash of dry vermouth and is coated with blue sugar on the rim, and costing $3,000:
“Tissues for the anal-bleeding are not included.”

8. On a factory in Dearborn Michigan that is telling its workers that they have to drive Ford products if they want prime parking spots at company plants:
“Fortunately, Ford has a service station right near the front of the main building.”