Topical Chat, February 8, 2006
What do you do with an elephant with 3 balls? Walk him, and pitch to the Rhino (one of my favorite jokes from the movie Hot Shots.)
1. On an elementary school worksheet that tells the story of four people who get away with robbing a house and describes how to do a card trick (it has drawn some criticism):
“Thank goodness the new edition with the story about the brothel wasn’t released yet.”
2. On police in Chicago arresting a pastor during the middle of his sermon:
“Timing is everything.”
3. On a man ending up covered in marijuana after allegedly throwing it out the window during a police chase:
“He then lit and smoked himself.”
4. On ex-Philadelphia Flyer, Rick Tocchet, being arrested for creating a betting ring:
“I guess we Philadelphians just can’t call any sports people heroes.”
5. On a store owner in Alabama who is getting people to read the Bible by offering them free soft drinks or coffee if they recite a Bible passage in his store:
“Rumor has it, he may get a cabinet position for this.”
6. On 11 men being admitted to Blue Mountain college (this has traditionally been a woman’s school):
“These may be the smartest men in history.”
7. On Hooter’s Casino opening in Las Vegas:
“What’s the point? There are strip clubs all around Vegas? I’m not sure wings and scantily clad women will attract enough people, when you can find that just about anywhere on the strip.”
8. On a bug-bomb exploding in a Burlington, NJ, home and damaging the house, in addition to inflicting minor injuries on people:
“Yeah, but what about the bugs?”
posted by Los @ 8:36 AM
1 guys/gals who rule
1 Comments:
1. Sometimes, elementary school books can be just as bad, like the time Mrs. Jukes read us the story about the monster that ate fat children in 2nd grade, and then told us "He would have loved Steven". I never forgave her for that.
2. Hey... at least they kknew where he would be at that time.
3. If his name was Fred Green, I would laugh heartily.
4. We can have sports heroes, but they usually become heroes in other places like Boston.
5. Jesus has people giving out bribes for him now. Cool!
6. Yes... but are the women good looking? It could be a college ull of the Omega Mu's from Revenge of the Nerds. Then again, the Mu's sure could party!
7. Hooters is overrated. I love the wings, and only go there when I have a hankering for them. The waitresses are nice to look at. But the waitresses usually suck at their jobs, and the rest of the menu is basic bar food. The cooks arte swamped, so the food takes a long time usually. And the clientele usually winds up being a sausage fest. Besides the women waiting tables, there aren't many babes to look at. People who thing that Hooters is a debauchery fest have never been to one. They are quite boring. But the wings are fantastic. A casino... in the words of Ink and Stone, MEH!
8. It would be funny if the bugs made it out alive.
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