Just think – one year ago, we in Philly were getting ready to hold pep rallies for the Philadelphia Eagles on their run to the Super Bowl … what a difference one year makes … at least we have the Philadelphia Soul and Jon Bon Jovi to look forward to … ugh.

1. On the capsule containing star-dust that was brought back successfully on a NASA mission:
"I hear it’s 100% pure space dust … I wonder what the street value is?”

2. On red underwear being all the rage among Chinese Malaysians ahead of the lunar new year holidays:
“What, Superman underwear isn’t good enough for them?”

3. On police in North Carolina capturing a man wearing only a toga with women's panties in his car:
“Now that must’ve been a helluva party … either that, or that man has an appointment with some men in white suits.”

4. On an Australian woman cashing in a winning lottery ticket ($100,000) after 14 years:
“Apparently, a dingo tried to eat her lottery ticket.”

5. On a South Korean court upholding a lower court ruling convicting a dairy executive for an obscene event promoting his company's yogurt – he had naked models caked in flour spray each other with yogurt (which removed the flour) in a Seoul art gallery:
“I’ve never really equated yogurt and sex, but I’m willing to try anything once.”

6. On the Dean of Stanford Law school failing her bar exam:
“I don’t think you can even make something this hilarious up. This has a National Lampoon’s movie written all over it.”

7. On a thief who swiped a high-tech toilet seat worth about 27-hundred dollars, that is thermostatically controlled and circulates hot water to warm the bottom:
“I like the idea of a heated seat. But, for $2,700, there better be a ‘happy ending’ involved.”

8. On a woman who died at age 98 and bequeathed her $1.1 million estate to the federal government, requesting that it be used to help pay down the $8.1 trillion national debt:
“It’s like throwing a stone into the grand canyon … like throwing a shell into the ocean … like having sex with Paris Hilton – Hey-O!”