Topical Chat, December 22, 2005

A special Topical Chat, since I know that you need your fix!

1. On a Missouri student who was ordered to take off his Scottish kilt and is seeking a dress code change at school:
“I’m hoping this student wasn’t ordered to take these off in class and expose his ‘twig and berries.’”

2. On a Spa that offers a massage to help alleviate the pain of “Blackberry thumb:”
“A whole kettle of worms will be opened up for this. What about a massage for ‘bishop-beating wrist?’”

3. On a fisherman in Nebraska who caught a double-mouthed rainbow trout:
“A double-mouthed rainbow trout? Sounds like some sort of exotic porn movie to me.”

4. On Canada's supreme court ruling that its OK to have group sex with like-minded adults at 'swinger' clubs:
“The porn industry is understandably upset in Canada, as they expect sales to drop.”

5. On a Massachusetts man who was arrested AGAIN for allegedly dropping his pants while dressed as Santa Claus:
“He just wants thankful gift recipients to kiss his mistletoe.”

6. On a Tokyo store selling Christmas sake with a total of 223 diamonds for $1.7 million:
“I guess 220 diamonds wasn’t enough. Are diamonds healthy? I need to see a nutritional chart on this!”

7. On a food magazine in Australia which has renamed kangaroo meat to Australus to make it sound more appetizing:
“Is it me, or does Australus almost sound less appetizing than kangaroo meat?”

8. On girls in Britain who torture their Barbie Dolls by beheading, burning and microwaving (A researcher there says little girls "see Barbie torture as a legitimate play activity."):
“Unfortunately, we can’t print what these same girls do with the Ken dolls in the bathtub.”