Topical Chat, December 19, 2005

Interesting weekend – I saw the movie King Kong, and stopped a fight at a holiday party.

1. On lesbian motorcycle enthusiasts winning their fight to trademark the name “Dykes on Bikes:”
“For some reason, other ‘alternative’ groups haven’t followed suit. For instance, the following name for homosexual bar tours has not been trademarked – ‘Queers with Beers.’”

2. On a group of 40 people dressed in Santa Claus costumes, many of them drunk, rampaging through New Zealand's largest city, robbing stores and assaulting security guards:
“So, this is how Santa actually gets all of his presents. I always thought the ‘elves in the North Pole’ story was a little far-fetched.”

3. On woman in California who was arrested after authorities found more than 100 live dogs, cats, birds, goats and a duck in her small, 3-bedroom house:
“Right now, there are quite a few cat ladies who are very jealous.”

4. On a Finnish citizen who was arrested on a public bus while drunk and nearly naked, and having set an apparent record for unpaid fines in Norway, with an estimated 99 of them:
“Does this latest incident get him over the century mark?”

5. On dozens of dog heads being found discarded in a moat outside a jail in Tokyo:
“The story failed to mention the Chinese restaurant next to the moat.”

6. On the movie King Kong being released this past week:
“I have a few questions about the movie (which I saw). The main one is why doesn’t Kong take advantage of what all monkeys do – which is flinging poo? Certainly, he could’ve knocked down a few airplanes with a well-placed ‘dung ball.’”

7. On three fourth graders being arrested in Indiana for a counterfeiting scam:
“I guess even well-done movies like ‘Catch Me if You Can’ could have negative influences.”

8. On the billion dollar lottery in Spain:
“The winner will also be the new president of Spain.”