Topical Chat, November 23, 2005
It is a day early, but I wouldn’t to wish everybody (the two or three of you who read this blog) a Happy Thanksgiving. Also, go Texas A&M!!!!!
1. On a man who was so disoriented after a night of drinking in California, that A he hopped into a police patrol car thinking it was a taxi:
“The drunks are so considerate in California – they take all the work out of a policeman’s job.”
On police in Florida accidentally hitting a naked man in the genitals with a Taser after he was caught breaking windows and asking women to touch him:
2. “Talk about ‘mixed nuts.’”
3. On the death of Sam, the tiny dog whose hairless body and crooked teeth earned him a reputation as the World's Ugliest Dog:
“Will the owners of a dog with that kind of moniker actually feel remorse?”
4. On two 6-year-old girls trashing a Kansas school art room, dumping between 16 and 18 containers of tempera paint:
“Wait, they have schools in Kansas?”
5. On a Minnesota man who accidentally shot himself in the hand, while removing a gun from a bathroom hook at gun show:
“I love when things like this happen to gun freaks.”
6. On a man who was struck in the head by a train this weekend, and who was also hit in the head by a New York City subway car three years ago:
“Two things. First, I wonder if his nickname is ‘Lucky.’ Second, you would think that if this happened to you once, you would be more careful so that it didn’t happen a second time.”
7. On the female teacher who recently was arrested for sleeping with one of her 14-year-old-students:
“I think I may have said this before, but where the hell was all of this ‘action’ when I was 14?”
8. On a 12-year-old girl from Michigan who is the “Queen of the Claw,” in that she has won as many as 5,000 plush toys from arcade claw machines, and has never lost a Claw tournament:
“So, let me get this straight. First of all, there is someone who is known as the best at the claw machine? Sounds kinky. Second, she is only 12? Are her parents proud of this?”
posted by Los @ 9:11 AM
2 guys/gals who rule
2 Comments:
A happy thanksgiving to all and to all a good night...oh wait it that the right holiday...hmm...
1. On a man who was so disoriented after a night of drinking in California, that he hopped into a police patrol car thinking it was a taxi:
I think it would have been funnier if he then asked the "taxi driver" if e knew any good places to score some weed.
2. On police in Florida accidentally hitting a naked man in the genitals with a Taser after he was caught breaking windows and asking women to touch him:
I have to ask... was he actually breaking windows with the genitalia? Can a hard-on shatter glass?
3. On the death of Sam, the tiny dog whose hairless body and crooked teeth earned him a reputation as the World's Ugliest Dog:
And somewhere, the world's ugliest cat still lives on.
4. On two 6-year-old girls trashing a Kansas school art room, dumping between 16 and 18 containers of tempera paint:
What did they do afterward, sniff the rubber cement to get high?
5. On a Minnesota man who accidentally shot himself in the hand, while removing a gun from a bathroom hook at gun show:
Who the hell hangs their gun in the bathroom?
6. On a man who was struck in the head by a train this weekend, and who was also hit in the head by a New York City subway car three years ago:
And he's not dead yet? God must have an important plan for his life.
7. On the female teacher who recently was arrested for sleeping with one of her 14-year-old-students:
This kind of action when we were 14? Karl, we didn't want that action at 14. Who would we have had an affair with? Mrs. Lea? Mrs. Kimble? Please! The pickings were slim when we were kids.
8. On a 12-year-old girl from Michigan who is the “Queen of the Claw,” in that she has won as many as 5,000 plush toys from arcade claw machines, and has never lost a Claw tournament:
The combined retail worth of those toys... $5.81
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