Topical Chat, November 4, 2005

To show my 100 % backing of PSU, I will not eat any cheese until after the Wisconsin game (As can be seen, I do all I can for my Nittany Lions).

On a pizza parlor burglar who, prior to leaving the parlor with the money, took the time to make himself a pizza:
“If he didn’t have the pizza finished in ½ hour, he would’ve had to give the money back.”

On scientists finding two fossils in a sexual union for 65 million years:
“Rumor has it that Sting is in contact, as the 8 hours of “tantric ecstasy” that he has bragged about having with his wife doesn’t seem so impressive anymore.”

On a thief who stole $75,000 worth of bull semen in Maryland:
“My question isn’t about who would steal something like this, but who would actually “milk” the bulls to build up that big of an arsenal … oh, and how does one come up with a price for bull semen?”

On a man suing Home Depot after using a glue-covered toilet seat at the store:
“Now we know where the bull semen went.”

On a person, who dressed as belligerent drunk for a Halloween party, getting into a fight at said Halloween party after he got drunk:
“I think the person should be applauded for going the extra distance to be in character.”

On a house with a bride going on sale at EBAY for $600,000:
“The house by itself is going for around $800,000.”

On a woman in Texas who has 3,000 toll violations that add up to $76,000 in fines:
“My question is, are there any toll police? If so, was this lady’s car picture posted in the ‘toll police office?’ Is FOX mulling over putting a show on the air that deals with this?”

On a man who killed a buck with his bare hands in his daughter’s bedroom: “I’m guessing this didn’t happen anywhere near that bestiality farm in Portland, Oregon.”