Topical Chat, October 19, 2005
Nope, still not over the Penn State loss. But, at least “Lost” is on tonight.
On a new Rocky film being produced:
“I hear they wanted to get George Burns to be the opponent, but were disappointed to find out he was already deceased.”
On an old man who crashed his car into a McDonalds, then went inside and ordered breakfast:
“You gotta love old people. They don’t give a crap what they do … even in their pants.”
On a man with a wig, sunglasses, and a fake mole, who was trying to rob a McDonalds:
“Thank goodness Mayor McCheese was able to arrest him, and diffuse this most difficult situation.”
On a lazy British police dog, who was relieved of its duties:
“You mean this dog will no longer be able to lick its balls, and eat its on turds?”
On Indy Racing League Diva, Danica Patrick, who allegedly punched another driver after a crash:
“The IRL should be thanking her, because without her, nobody would give a rat’s ass about the IRL.
On a testing company that incorrectly scored online versions of Virginia’s high school exams, and wrongly kept 5 students from graduating:
“Yeah, but it’s Virginia. They are one state over from inbreds … no offense, West Virginia.”
On ABC auctioning off their Saturday night prime time slot to anyone with a good, cheap idea:
“Are you telling me those wacky ABC guys are unable to think up some crazy and zany shows for Saturday??? I mean, c’mon, this is the same network that brings us such knee-slappers as ‘According to Jim,’ ‘George Lopez,’ ‘Freddie,’ and ‘Hope and Faith.’ Why don’t they just bring back ‘Boy Meets World,’ and focus on the college years like NBC did with ‘Saved by the Bell?’”
On a Thai ice-cream vendor attacking a dentist after he pulled wrong tooth:
“I guess he pulled the sweet tooth … ba-da-bing!”
posted by Los @ 9:00 AM
3 guys/gals who rule
3 Comments:
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On a new Rocky film being produced:
Will Rocky wear Depends under his boxing shorts just in case?
On an old man who crashed his car into a McDonalds, then went inside and ordered breakfast:
Obviously the line for the drive through was too long.
On a man with a wig, sunglasses, and a fake mole, who was trying to rob a McDonalds:
The Hamburgular has competition now?
On a lazy British police dog, who was relieved of its duties:
It's duties must have involved relieving itself on the floor.
On Indy Racing League Diva, Danica Patrick, who allegedly punched another driver after a crash:
I love a woman who can drive a stick shift and get into fights.
On a testing company that incorrectly scored online versions of Virginia’s high school exams, and wrongly kept 5 students from graduating:
I'd be pissed, especially if I still had to live in Virginia.
On ABC auctioning off their Saturday night prime time slot to anyone with a good, cheap idea:
I have one... 4 people meet in a bar every weekend to watch football and dance around like fools. Hilarity ensues.
On a Thai ice-cream vendor attacking a dentist after he pulled wrong tooth:
“I guess he pulled the sweet tooth … ba-da-bing!”
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Lost! Woooooot!
On a new Rocky film being produced:
"It's called Rocky 6 - The Geriatric Years"
On an old man who crashed his car into a McDonalds, then went inside and ordered breakfast:
"Hmmmmm, crash a car, get some food, sounds like a plan to me!"
On a man with a wig, sunglasses, and a fake mole, who was trying to rob a McDonalds:
"Rob a Mcdonalds?? Not shooting high for the big bucks, huh?"
On a lazy British police dog, who was relieved of its duties:
"What? Dogs don't have to enforce your bullshit laws! Wankers!"
On Indy Racing League Diva, Danica Patrick, who allegedly punched another driver after a crash:
Who the hell is the IRL???
On a testing company that incorrectly scored online versions of Virginia’s high school exams, and wrongly kept 5 students from graduating:
"That's gotta suck - Dad! I'm going to Yale next ye.... oh wait, I failed... I lost my scholarship... WTF?"
On ABC auctioning off their Saturday night prime time slot to anyone with a good, cheap idea:
"Great. ABC is becoming public access. Now we get to listen to some idiot spew his views on sports and music.... oh, wait, that's Karl!"
On a Thai ice-cream vendor attacking a dentist after he pulled wrong tooth:
"I think I'd be kinda pissed too. and that sweet-tooth joke was ass, Karl. ASS!"
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