Topical Chat, October 10, 2005
Miserable weekend - lots of rain ... but the sky was blue-and-white in Happy Valley, as the Lions knocked off the Buckeyes!!!! Go Penn State!:
1. On Jessica Biel being named sexiest woman alive by Esquire Magazine:
“Man, I would love to be on that ‘search’ committee!”
2. On a Cambodian couple biting their daughter’s thumbnails off and sucking her blood in some apparent cult ritual:
“I guess it beats the heck out of cutting live chickens’ heads off … I guess.”
3. On a man in Utah who got thrown in jail because he entered a convenience store on numerous occasions in the buff:
“Why do you never hear stories of hot chicks doing this?”
4. On police in Chesapeake, VA, looking for a missing 500 pound billboard cow:
“That sounds like a lot of bull to me … get it?”
5. On developers announcing plans Friday to open a multimillion dollar sexual "theme park" near London's Piccadilly Circus, home to the much-photographed statue of the Greek god of love:
“I can’t wait to go on the ‘Fondling Ferris Wheel,’ or the ‘Rear-Entry’ roller coaster.”
6. On Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty apologizing for an embarrassing slip of the tongue during the Minnesota Wild's season opener Wednesday night as he led the crowd in a cheer.
“I wonder if he said something along the lines of, ‘it’s about f-ing time that hockey got its f-ing act together, so that we can finally drop the f-ing puck, dammit!’”
7. On 4th grader setting the World's Longest Tooth record, with a tooth nearly an inch long:
“Gives a whole new meaning to the term ‘He’s getting a little long in the tooth’ … unless this happened in the south.
8. On a court banning a woman from contacting her daughter's school or teachers because she complained too much:
“Teachers must love parents like this … I’m guessing this how Brittany Spears’ parents were … and look how good she turned out.”
posted by Los @ 7:46 AM
3 guys/gals who rule
3 Comments:
Um.... Yeah!? Go Pennnn State??!?
1. Yep, She's a hottie. Not sure if she's the 'sexiest' but she's definately up there.
2. That poor child, I hope they kill the parents.
3. Nudists are people too!
4. Ugh, Karl. That was udderly horrible.
5. LOL. Don't forget the Titty Tilt-A-Whirl.
6. Meh. Hockey. Whatever.
7. Is this kid a vampire or something? It IS getting near Halloween after all.
8. Whiners. Go figure.
I just had to google who Jessica Biel was...yeah...yeah...she's just got my vote.
1. On Jessica Biel being named sexiest woman alive by Esquire Magazine:
Alright, I'm not complaining about that choice. I wonder where Shakira was on the list. She has to be top 5.
2. On a Cambodian couple biting their daughter’s thumbnails off and sucking her blood in some apparent cult ritual:
“I guess it beats the heck out of cutting live chickens’ heads off … I guess.”
No it doesn't because you can eat the chickens afterwards.
3. On a man in Utah who got thrown in jail because he entered a convenience store on numerous occasions in the buff:
“Why do you never hear stories of hot chicks doing this?”
Becasue hot chicks who do this probably don't get arrested.
4. On police in Chesapeake, VA, looking for a missing 500 pound billboard cow:
“That sounds like a lot of bull to me … get it?”
BOOOOOOOO!!!!!
5. On developers announcing plans Friday to open a multimillion dollar sexual "theme park" near London's Piccadilly Circus, home to the much-photographed statue of the Greek god of love:
“I can’t wait to go on the ‘Fondling Ferris Wheel,’ or the ‘Rear-Entry’ roller coaster.”
This was a better joke. Rear-entry roller coaster... I love it!
6. On Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty apologizing for an embarrassing slip of the tongue during the Minnesota Wild's season opener Wednesday night as he led the crowd in a cheer.
That's why they never should have let Jesse Ventura leave the office. He would have done a proper cheer, followed by a flexing pose with a feather boa wrapped around his neck.
7. On 4th grader setting the World's Longest Tooth record, with a tooth nearly an inch long:
Needless to say, he won't be french kissing any girls once he hits puberty.
8. On a court banning a woman from contacting her daughter's school or teachers because she complained too much:
I know some teachers who would like this rule to go into effect.
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