Topical Chat, September 16, 2005
Hey-O! It's Friday, and not a day too soon! Unfortunately, it looks like it is going to be very rainy this weekend (in the Northeast) and that sucks for the Octoberfest celebration at the Delaware Sangerbund. But beer always acts as a good umbrella.
1. On a man who got caught pedaling his bike with 3 uprooted pot plants under his arm:
"I'm guessing he was a seller, because a smoker would be too lazy to ride a bike (let alone uproot the plants)."
2. On China, which is considering jail time for students who cheat on exams:
"And we thought the nuns with the rulers were bad..."
3. On an elderly man being arrested for pick-pocketing in Tokyo:
"Some of the 'victims' wondered openly if he was trying to pick-pocket them or arouse them .... others never wanted him to stop."
4. On a principal of a school chasing a student-streaker in a gorilla mask:
"Tag, you're it!"
5. On Lynn Swann's goal to be governor of P.A.:
"Great - I am sure this will not polarize Pittsburgh and Philadelphia anymore than they already are."
6. On as P.A. school that would like to operate on 4-day weeks:
"Now, if we can get this idea to employers..."
7. On the Birth of Brittany Spears' baby:
"Isn't this the seventh sign?"
8. On 11 people getting thrown in jail after a wedding party brawl, including the groom, the father and the father-in-law:
"Needless to say, this was a 'kick-ass' party (get it???).
posted by Los @ 8:53 AM
2 guys/gals who rule
2 Comments:
Heino!
1. Geeez. They're just plants people. If people want to smoke them, let 'em. I don't care.
2. Extremism for fun and profit!
3. I got nothing.
4. Naked monkey people! Naked monkey people!
5. Who?
6. I am so down for 4 day work weeks.
7. Very well could be te Seventh Sign. Now we just have to watch for the Plague of Locusts... Moon turning red... The dead rising to smell the incense....
8. Irish wedding?
1. On a man who got caught pedaling his bike with 3 uprooted pot plants under his arm:
I think he wanted to get caught.
2. On China, which is considering jail time for students who cheat on exams:
And the penalty for chewing gum in class... DEATH!
3. On an elderly man being arrested for pick-pocketing in Tokyo:
"Some of the 'victims' wondered openly if he was trying to pick-pocket them or arouse them .... others never wanted him to stop."
EWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!
4. On a principal of a school chasing a student-streaker in a gorilla mask:
For a second, I thought the principal was wearing the monkey mask while chasing the naked streaker. Then I reread the statement. It was funnier in my head before.
5. On Lynn Swann's goal to be governor of P.A.:
Lynn Swann is a Republican Bush supporter. We don't need him.
6. On as P.A. school that would like to operate on 4-day weeks:
They do it across Europe, why can't we?
7. On the Birth of Brittany Spears' baby:
"Isn't this the seventh sign?"
Actually the seventh sign is when Tito Jackson puts out an album that outsells Michael's. But the way Michael sells lately it's not that far off.
8. On 11 people getting thrown in jail after a wedding party brawl, including the groom, the father and the father-in-law:
They broke my record. My personal wedding record at parties I've DJ'ed is 8 people arrested. We could have had at least 6 at Karl's wedding at the end of the night, including Karl and Sue if we played our cards right. EIN PROSIT!
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