Topical Chat, September 9, 2005
As many of you know, this Sunday commemorates (I'm not sure if that is the right word to use) the 4-year anniversary of the 9-11 tragedy. I wanted to take a moment to thank all firefighters and police officers for all the hard work they do to try and ensure our safety, and to all the soldiers protecting our country. Now back to the fun (I guess it's fun):
1. On a New Zealand police recruit who gave his fingerprints in an exercise, and they matched him with an arrest warrant:
"These police in New Zealand are so good, they even turn themselves in!"
2. On two men breaking into McDonalds to steal food:
"I'm guessing that these people may have been intoxicated at the time - there's nothing like greasy fast food whilst intoxicated ... by the way, this should be reason enough for this McDonalds to be open 24 hours."
3. On Mexican police finding 130 animals in a bus:
"What are Mexican police doing in the Bronx?"
4. On a study that found long hours leave young doctors so sleep-deprived, that they function like they've had a few cocktails:
"So my suggestion is to feed these young doctors cocktails early on in the shift so it seems like they've been working for a while."
5. On Wendy's auctioning off the tooth from their commercial:
"Ranch!"
6. On a girl that left a bar drunk, took a short-cut through a cemetary, decided to pee next to a grave, lost her balance, and grabbed onto a tombstone which fell on top of her and suffocated her to death:
"Instant Karma's gonna get ya!"
7. On a high school in Australia that has a class on surfing:
"Unfortunately, my high school had a class in square dancing. Life is so unfair."
8. On two Italian scuba divers who plan to spend 240 hours under water:
"I am sure there are a lot of ethnic jokes that could be put here, like - you should see the oil spill - couldn't resist! However, my question is, is it really that important to get in the Guiness Book of World Records?"
posted by Los @ 8:57 AM
2 guys/gals who rule
2 Comments:
1. He's not a very good crook.
2. Of all the restraunts to break into, they went for a McD's?
3. Aw, the animals were just having a roadtrip!
4. If ya can't deal with a job that has long hours, then don't work it!
5. Ranch!
6. What a humiliating way to die.
At least they don't need to transport her far to bury her.
7. Square dancing sucks. Surfing as a class, would have been kinda fun. Think I'd rather take a class on wake boarding or body boarding though.
8. They're doing this to get in the Guiness book of World Records, huh? More power to them, I guess.
Amen to the firefighters and police force. It is surreal that we are remembering 9-11 at the time when so much is happening on the Gulf COast.
1. On a New Zealand police recruit who gave his fingerprints in an exercise, and they matched him with an arrest warrant:
And how stupid is the recruit knowing he could get caught, he joins the police. I guess he figured if you can't beat them, join them.
2. On two men breaking into McDonalds to steal food:
What are the odds they stole nothing but pancakes and syrup? That's good intoxicated food right there.
3. On Mexican police finding 130 animals in a bus:
"What are Mexican police doing in the Bronx?"
Bad one, Karl.
4. On a study that found long hours leave young doctors so sleep-deprived, that they function like they've had a few cocktails:
It keeps my faith alive in the medical profession. Yeesh!
5. On Wendy's auctioning off the tooth from their commercial:
"Ranch!"
I don't get it.
6. On a girl that left a bar drunk, took a short-cut through a cemetary, decided to pee next to a grave, lost her balance, and grabbed onto a tombstone which fell on top of her and suffocated her to death:
"Instant Karma's gonna get ya!"
Gonna knock ya off your feet! Lennon said it best!
7. On a high school in Australia that has a class on surfing:
"Unfortunately, my high school had a class in square dancing. Life is so unfair."
I remember that. It was Mrs. Landau's gym class, and it was 7th grade. Can I go on the record and say that the gym department of Glenolden School from the years of 1977-1986 were full of a bunch of loons and idiots who were on a power trip?
8. On two Italian scuba divers who plan to spend 240 hours under water:
I'm part Italian. Watch out with those ethnic references Karl, you beer swilling, sausage eating, Jager drinking, blonde haired Nazi.
EIN PROSIT!
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