Topical Chat, August 18, 2005
Yeah, I know, I'm a day early. But, I'll be out of town tomorrow, so I didn't want to leave you dissatisfied. So, here ya go (don't say I never did anything for you):
1. On Pierce Brosnan no longer being James Bond:
"I suggest a new twist to the James Bond character... like maybe having Will Ferrell be Bond. Make him funny and clumsy like Inspector Clouseau."
2. On Comcast purchasing the TV rights to the NHL and putting it on OLN:
"OLN? Is this the NHL's plan to bring back the fans? Putting it on a cable channel that 99.9% of the people don't even know they have?"
3. On a woman who faces kidnapping charges after holding two kids hostage who were mowing her lawn:
"I'm guessing the kids could've done a better job of edging?"
4. On illness and injury being tied to long work hours:
"Maybe this is what T.O. has..."
5. On a woman who received a cable bill with the name "Bitch Dog" on it:
"This is probably the same cable company that is putting the NHL on OLN."
6. On a farmer who wrote a personal ad in his cornfield:
"Not only is this a really stupid idea, but it is also kind of corny ... get it?"
7. On the increase in the number of internet phone subscribers:
"Maybe this will wake up the phone companies, and make their rates more reasonable ... I doubt it."
8. On a study that revealed children who eat fries are at risk of getting breast cancer:
"Great, I have to go and schedule a mammogram now."
posted by Los @ 3:21 PM
3 guys/gals who rule
3 Comments:
Yeah, I know, I'm a day early. But, I'll be out of town tomorrow, so I didn't want to leave you dissatisfied.
This is assuming that you actually leave us satisfied when you're around... HEYYY-OHHHHHH!
1. On Pierce Brosnan no longer being James Bond:
You need a funny British guy... maybe that Bean characvter would work.
2. On Comcast purchasing the TV rights to the NHL and putting it on OLN:
Maybe the NHL is their ticket to people realizing OLN exists. Then again... maybe not.
3. On a woman who faces kidnapping charges after holding two kids hostage who were mowing her lawn:
So what wouold happen to them if they were shoveling snow instead? Castration, perhaps?
4. On illness and injury being tied to long work hours:
"Maybe this is what T.O. has..."
If you remember the sign from last year in Cleveland, TO actually does have BO.
5. On a woman who received a cable bill with the name "Bitch Dog" on it:
That is so cool. I want my cable bill to say "Turd Farts" on my next bill. Is that an option?
6. On a farmer who wrote a personal ad in his cornfield:
"Not only is this a really stupid idea, but it is also kind of corny ... get it?"
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
7. On the increase in the number of internet phone subscribers:
Does this mean that phone sex can be cheaper too? I mean with all the internet porn out there and all... just a thought.
8. On a study that revealed children who eat fries are at risk of getting breast cancer:
"Great, I have to go and schedule a mammogram now."
Karl, are you saying that you have man boobs? I mean, there's nothing wrong with that.
Has everybdody voted on "Karl's Mini Poll" Now that's funny stuff.
1. Or let the next Bond movie be directed by Rob Zombie. It can be a Bond horror flick!!! Where Bond has to stop a group of raging Communist zombies from unleashing the nine layers of hell upon the Earth!
2. What's OLN? Isn't that a religious channel?
3. Sounds like a good way of getting her lawn cut for free.
4. Maybe this is what I have. My back is killing me today!
5. Wiebchenhund?
6. Mmmmmm, corn. One of my favorite veggies, I had some corn over the weekend with some polynesian strip steak. Mmm mmm good!
7. Now only if there was an laternative to the Cable Conglomerates.
8. Ewwwwww. Here, little Billy, have some fries! Why are you bleeding from your chest, Billy?? Ewwwww.
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