Topical Chat, August 17, 2005
Labor Day is less than 3 weeks away ... my question is, didn't we just celebrate Memorial Day a few weeks ago?
1. On Demi Moore saying that Ashton Kutchar is her soul-mate:
"Two things. First, wouldn't it be funny if Demi Moore was being set up to be Punk'd? Also, how bad must it be if Ashton Kutchar is your soul-mate?"
2. On a rabbit saving an Illinois woman's life:
"I would surmise (big word) that it would be pretty embarrassing to tell the story of how your life was saved by a bunny rabbit."
3. On a P.A. couple getting married at McDonalds:
"They should just have the reception there, with D.J. Ronald, and McNugget appetizers ... mmmmm, McNuggets."
4. On a car thief who asked the victim for help after he severed his wrist on some shards of glass:
"I would've 'helped' the thief by kicking him in the wedding-tackle."
5. On copper heads hibernating earlier this year than last year:
"Somebody actually had enough time on his or her hands to take on this exhilerating study."
6. On a strange new product called "Liquid Ass" which is a stinky-smelling fart spray:
"And to think that I thought this is what happened if you ate too many Olestra chips."
7. On a report that garlic is good for pain relief:
"And, as an added bonus, it is also a good abstinence tool."
8. On a computer worm that is attacking Windows 2000:
"I think that Microsoft secretly puts these out to force users to upgrade ... just a hunch."
posted by Los @ 8:46 AM
4 guys/gals who rule
4 Comments:
congrats los - you have gotten your first spam posting on your blog!
May I suggest going to goatse.cx to further enrich your web-browsing experience? (actually you probably shouldn't go there at all - ever...)
Anyway- onwards and upwards:
1) This would be the best punking of all time if it is. An entire season of punked could be based on him buttering her up and then ripping out her heart. Now that's some good TV.
2) Amazing. I'm not sure how this happened, but I can just see the bunny pulling this woman from a burning building.
3) That would be an awesome reception- BYOB at Mickey-D's. Why didn't I think of this?
4) Thank goodness Karma is still alive and well. As are idiot criminals.
5) In related news, it seems the Phillies are going to be hibernating slightly later this year than in the 2 previous years.
6) Why would someone approve this idea- unless is it exclusively being sold at Spencers.
7) Don't forget that Garlic keeps vampires away as well. Garlic: it rocks!!!
8) I'm glad America's news/media outlets have placed such a high value on security that they're running unpatched versions of old operating systems. Hopefully their journalistic integrity isn't as bad as their security.
1. On Demi Moore saying that Ashton Kutchar is her soul-mate:
And she thought that way about Bruce Willis at one time too.
2. On a rabbit saving an Illinois woman's life:
I think the story would have been more interesting if she ate the rabbit afterwards.
3. On a P.A. couple getting married at McDonalds:
Maybe I should start leaving my business cards there, eh?
4. On a car thief who asked the victim for help after he severed his wrist on some shards of glass:
My question is... did the guy help him or not? Cause I think it would be totally funny if he did.
5. On copper heads hibernating earlier this year than last year:
"Somebody actually had enough time on his or her hands to take on this exhilerating study."
About as much time as we have on our hands typing these blogs at work.
6. On a strange new product called "Liquid Ass" which is a stinky-smelling fart spray:
Dude... that's your new nickname from now on... Los Liquid Ass!
7. On a report that garlic is good for pain relief:
"And, as an added bonus, it is also a good abstinence tool."
Speak for yourself. I often get it on after having a huge piece of garlic bread.
8. On a computer worm that is attacking Windows 2000:
"I think that Microsoft secretly puts these out to force users to upgrade ... just a hunch."
No, not another conspiracy theory. That would be like saying the gas companies are raising prices for no good reason. Wait a minute... I did say that. Good hunch, Los.
Oooo! Oooo! go to rotten.com instead! Loser.
1. Good for them?
2. Awwwwwww, bunnies! I'll love him and pet him, and name him George. >snap< Why are you not moving anymore, bunny?? Bunny?!!? BUNNY!!!
3. Wow. THAT's high class.
4. I would've helped the thief to more shards of glass.
5. Meh, I got nothing.
6. Instant classic!
7. Don't forget that it's great for deterring vampires from biting you!
8. Oooooo! Conspiracy. Microsoft would do that! The fuckers. Put out virii to make users upgrade and buy more half-ass software that has ton's of bugs and security flaws just so there pockets can get a little fatter. Or no. Maybe it's the anti-virus companies themselves that put the virii out there! What better way to stay in a problem-solving business than to create the problems themselves and then seem like the 'knight in shining armor' when they fix the terrible, terrible virus. Bitches.
3. On a P.A. couple getting married at McDonalds:
"Who married them...Grimas?"
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