Topical Chat, August 5, 2005
Friday - we made it! It has been a stellar news week. Enjoy:
1. On South Korean Scientists successfully cloning a dog:
"The owners of Asian restaurants seem to be the happiest."
2. On Peter Forsberg signing with the Philadelphia Flyers:
"Better late than never, I guess."
3. On a man fabricating a story about killing a hitchhiker, so his wife would leave him:
"This guy must've had a helluva brain-storming session when trying to come up with ideas on how to get the old ball-and-chain to leave."
4. On a golf outing in Illinois that allegedly featured strippers:
"Finally, a way to make a golf outing interesting and attractive to more people!"
5. On the new Windows Vista operating system:
"I heard the other name they were looking at was 'Windows Apple.'"
6. On the lady that awoke from a 20-year coma:
"Doctors would be wise to slowly let her in on the changing world events, because it might put her back under."
7. On a toddler slain in a police shoot-out who had cocaine in her system:
"First of all, these parents should be hung by their feet in the middle of a city, and a fundraiser should be set up - $1 per kick, and the money can go to charities that help kids who have been brought up in 'house-holds' like this. Secondly, I'm guessing these parents probably had no chance of ever being part of the PTA."
8. On Chrysler teaming Snoop Dogg with Lee Iacocca in a new Ad:
"Ah, the smell of desparation."
posted by Los @ 9:28 AM
3 guys/gals who rule
3 Comments:
1. Puppies!
2. Who? I Care?
3. Woulda been more funny if she said something like: "Yeah, I've killed people too! In fact, you ever hear of the Zodiac Killer??"
4. Hmmmmm, suddenly I feel like taking up golf!
5. Never heard of it. Is it going to require 1001 patches?
6. Wow, that's gotta suck. I'd be like, "put me back to sleep! I don't wanna deal with this crap!"
7. Kill them. Alot. Pour molten led in every orifice of them.
8. New Snoop song titles: "Snoop Doggy Debt", "LeBaron was the case that they gave me", "Gin and Cruiser (PT, that is)"
So, what you are saying is that because his kids were in the locker room, there is no possible way that Rafael Palmiero ever could've taken steroids. I find that very hard to believe.
1. On South Korean Scientists successfully cloning a dog:
I fully believe we have been cloning chickens in this country and not telling anyone. I mean, with all the 10 cent wing nights going on out there, how the hell can supply keep up with such demand? I think there's some 8 winged chickens out there we don't know about reproducing asexually. And I'm still gonna eat the suckers cause they taste so good.
2. On Peter Forsberg signing with the Philadelphia Flyers:
This is like Ryne sandberg coming back to the Phillies, if that ever would have happened. Who among us wouldn't have wanted to see that happen?
3. On a man fabricating a story about killing a hitchhiker, so his wife would leave him:
Some women I know would have been turned on by that.
4. On a golf outing in Illinois that allegedly featured strippers:
Um... this is news? Some clubs have had a yearly golf outing for years. And the fact that I know these things off the top of my head does not make me a bad person.
5. On the new Windows Vista operating system:
Microsoft is the prime example of a business model that never fails. Create a product that 80% of us need, and then upgrade it to something new once every few years making what we are already using obsolete. If they made products we could use for 20 years, they'd go out of business.
6. On the lady that awoke from a 20-year coma:
And the first thing she found out was that the Phillies were still only a couple of players away from winning a World Series.
7. On a toddler slain in a police shoot-out who had cocaine in her system:
All I can think of to say is that I am sickened to hear of it.
8. On Chrysler teaming Snoop Dogg with Lee Iacocca in a new Ad:
How the hell did Snoop Dogg become such a marketing tool? I swear the guy would do a feminine product commercial now. "Fo' shizzle my nizzle with Tampax."
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