Topical Chat, August 3, 2005
Not much new going on....except that I got a new car (a few people asked why I didn't mention it in the blog, and I told them I didn't think it was newsworthy enough):
1. On Rafael Palmiero being suspended for steroid use:
"Shocking. Who would've thought that a guy that came into the league as a singles hitter, and then all of the sudden became a huge homerun hitter, would be found to be taking steroids? I, for one, am shocked."
2. On a man who lost his dentures after a fall 3 years ago, only to hav them found by a doctor.... in his windpipe:
"This guy must've had more wrong with him than just bad teeth. I mean, how does somebody not notice that they have a set of dentures in their esophogus for three years?"
3. On the Toronto plane crash that had no casualties:
"First, what an amazing story. Second, why did it only take them 90 seconds to get out of the plane, when it takes me a minimum of 20 minutes to get out of a plane?"
4. On an Illinois nudist who will be buried fully clothed:
"It must be pretty cold 6-feet-under in a casket."
5. On a 19-year-old woman who was selling sexual favors to the elderly for around $5.
"She is like the Walmart of prostitutes. What a deal!"
6. On a female school teacher who was arrested for having sex with and teaching better sexual relations to some of her students ... even on a schoolbus:
"This may have been the best sex-ed class in the history of school. Did anybody see how hot the teacher was????"
7. On a Missouri family who found a 5-foot python under their dishwasher:
"I guess it is better than finding a large family of rats....or Al Qaeda under your sink."
8. On research in Berkeley, California, that claims storms and the weather can be modified, and even controlled:
"Quick, get me the book of Revelations."
posted by Los @ 9:04 AM
2 guys/gals who rule
2 Comments:
New cars are always newsworthy!!!! Get on wit yer bad self!
1. They all juice up. Who cares?
2. In his windpipe?? I thought they got lodged in his lung. That's gotta suck.
3. Very cool they all got out relatively unharmed.
Why does it take you so long Karl?? Well, if you weren't in the aircraft's restroom trying to 'Sink the Bismarck' you might get out of the plane a bit faster, now wouldn't you?
4. Why is this news? Did the person want to be buried nude and someone changed it??
5. 5$ huh??? Is she hot?? >;-)
6. Now I got that damn Van Halen song stuck in my head. Thanks, Karl. Dirne.
7. Hmmmm, new marketing brand:
"Get your dishes as clean as a snake! With new Python Brand dishwashers! A free constrictor with every purchase!"
8. Holy freaking god.
This is like my biggest mad scientist fantasy coming true!!!!!! I SO want to control the weather. FRANCE would have an unending blizzard. Freeze, you French bastards, freeze!
And I'd make the Middle East a balmy 70 degrees, I figure if their brains aren't cooking, then maybe they'll try to get along, and enjoy life, instead of trying to kill each other continually.
If that doesn't work ~~> HYPERCANE.
That'll cool their damn jets.
4.
1. On Rafael Palmiero being suspended for steroid use:
See my blog for opinions...
2. On a man who lost his dentures after a fall 3 years ago, only to hav them found by a doctor.... in his windpipe:
Maybe he could have hired the $5 hooker to find them for him.
3. On the Toronto plane crash that had no casualties:
"First, what an amazing story. Second, why did it only take them 90 seconds to get out of the plane, when it takes me a minimum of 20 minutes to get out of a plane?"
Karl... that's because your ass wasn't on fire at the time. By the way, I think that's the best observation you've had in days.
4. On an Illinois nudist who will be buried fully clothed:
"It must be pretty cold 6-feet-under in a casket."
Not to mentin the massive woody that must have developed. I think that's the real reason.
5. On a 19-year-old woman who was selling sexual favors to the elderly for around $5.
Well, they get cheaper meals at Denny's and cheaper movie tickets all the time, so this makes sense.
6. On a female school teacher who was arrested for having sex with and teaching better sexual relations to some of her students ... even on a schoolbus:
"This may have been the best sex-ed class in the history of school. Did anybody see how hot the teacher was????"
And dude, we never had really hot teachers like that at Interboro. Maybe Mrs. Oat would have been worth a shot, but no one liked her.
7. On a Missouri family who found a 5-foot python under their dishwasher:
I only thought snakes came out of the toilet. This is new.
8. On research in Berkeley, California, that claims storms and the weather can be modified, and even controlled:
Someone please send a wicked nor'easter over to Rick Santorum's house and hit him with lightning then. That's what I say.
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