Topical Chat, July 11, 2005
It's a nice, chilly Monday here in the Philadelphia area, with temperatures that may barely get to 100 today and tomorrow. Thank goodness I am at work....:
1. On a pair of cattle being married in front of 2000 human guests in Thailand:
"I'm guessing they probably did not serve steak at the reception."
2. On the Nickelodeon Hotel that is located in Florida:
"Michael Jackson is apparently a part-owner."
3. On Moorestown, NJ, being voted the best place to live by cnn.com:
"This must be a typo. A rule I learned as a young tyke was that one should never put 'New Jersey' and 'best place to live' in the same sentence...unless in between one adds 'is not the.'
4. On the start of the countdown for the space shuttle launch:
"We really need to upgrade the space shuttle. I remember back when it looked cool. Now, it looks old."
5. On strippers being arrested for spanking a guy with a belt and a paddle during his bachelor party:
"Um.....isn't this what strippers are supposed to do? If the groom-to-be filed a complaint, he should be castrated...just an opinion."
6. On the risk of developing blindness when taking impotency pills:
"It's not the act of taking the pills, but the act of 'researching' after taking said pills."
7. On the upcoming MLB All Star game:
"Because the home-run totals dropped so much as a result of the steroids investigation, the MLB has decided to rename their home-run derby the 'ground-rule-double' derby.
8: On the Tour de France:
"Does U.S. cycling have an heir-apparent for Armstrong, because if not, nobody in the U.S. will care about this event anymore. By the way, while the iron is still hot, there shold be some sort of pay-per-view celebrity death match between Amrstong and Greg Lemond."
posted by Los @ 11:02 AM
2 guys/gals who rule
2 Comments:
2. The question here is if the hotel has slime machines over the bed that get triggered whenever someone says 'I don't know' followed by a speaker blaring 'da-da-dat-do-doot-dat!'
Also, I'd hope Barf was master chef at this place.
3. In a related note: Pennsylvania was running advertisements on the shore banner planes, suggesting people come back to Pennsylvania. It's not that funny, but it seriously did happen.
7. Metal bats will also be allowed in the derby this year.
Singing songs about the southlands...
1. You know there had to be at least 1 person in that audience thinking, "Mmmmm, A1 steak sauce"
2. I hope it gets blown up by Invader Zim. (No, I'm not bitter they canceled the show)
3. ~1k people per square mile. Whoever researched that report was smoking the ganja!
4. Agreed. It's a friggin deathtrap. Give these astronauts the best equipment we got, they deserve it.
5. Seriously? The groom got the strippers arrested???? I'd be like, come on, bitches! Is that the best you can do! Put your wrist into it! Don't forget the Whips! Chains! Hotwax!
6. Karl don't need no pills to do 'research'.
7. Allright, I'm gonna take a stab at it... Is a 'ground-rule-double' when someone hits the ball, it hits the ground, and they get an automatic double? Yes? No? Do I care?
8. If it was Tour de Norway, or Tour de Spain; I wouldn't mind it so much. But Tour de France???? Sissies.
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