Topical Chat, June 20, 2005
Ugh, another Monday. The weekend went faster than the money in my pocket in Vegas (ba-da-bing):
1. On the two people in PETA getting arrested for animal cruelty:
"That's like a famous pop-star who claims to protect kids being accused of sleeping with them.....wait a minute!"
2. On the CIA chief having an excellent idea where Bin Laden is:
"How about the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus? Where are they, Mr. Smarty Pants?"
3. On a prankster squirting water in Tom Cruise's face:
"Did Tom Cruise start melting?"
4. On British potato farmers upset with the term "couch potato:"
"You should hear why professional clammers are upset."
5. On grapefruit making women seem younger:
"And here, they all thought chocolate made them look younger."
6. On 119 students in a Kansas college who failed a class receiving a group e-mail listing all who failed:
"Only 119 Kansas students failed? Impossible."
7. On a man being run over by a car while he was in bed:
"I wonder if he thought it was only a dream? I think this guy might need sleeping pills from now on to fall asleep."
8. On the 4 earthquakes in California last week:
"Hooray for Hollywood.......I don't know the rest of the words."
posted by Los @ 8:53 AM
5 guys/gals who rule
5 Comments:
Psssst... Mondays suck. Pass it on.
1. On the two people in PETA getting arrested for animal cruelty:
"Well, I hope people are cruel to them the way they were cruel to the animals."
2. On the CIA chief having an excellent idea where Bin Laden is:
"Lying sack of cow flop. They have no friggin' idea. Go ask them, I'll bet they say, 'Somewhere on the Asian continent.' Whores."
3. On a prankster squirting water in Tom Cruise's face:
"Why is this news?? Does this mean every time it rains on TC, there'll be a story on it?"
4. On British potato farmers upset with the term "couch potato:"
"Why? Cause it creates identity between fat lazy people and big round dirty tubers? I care?"
5. On grapefruit making women seem younger:
"Yeah, but if they take cholesterol medicine, the grapefruit will KILL THEM. No, I'm not bitter."
6. On 119 students in a Kansas college who failed a class receiving a group e-mail listing all who failed:
"So what's the news here? That 119 failed? Or that they were all on a group mailing? What was the class anyway?"
7. On a man being run over by a car while he was in bed:
"I got nothing."
8. On the 4 earthquakes in California last week:
"Damn, I was hoping my property in Nevada would become beachfront."
Interesting fact of the day:
The titanic weighed roughly 43,000 tons. Today's average cruise ship is roughly twice that weight, with the world's largest over 3x that weight.
[insert your mom joke here]
2. We have such an excellent idea of where he is, that we're doing absolutley nothing about it. Brilliant!
3. If only the prankster had used hydrogen cholride when squirting Mr Cruise in the face. That would have made for a great laugh for everyone. Cruise could then play Sloth when they remake the Goonies.
5. Lining up women next to Demi Moore also makes them seem younger.
6. When 119 people fail, we can either assume that
a) Kansas has hard schools
b) People from Kansas are friggin' retarded
I think you know which one I'm going with.
7. Sleeping "In Doors."
Funny how that immediately made me think of "I *heart* Boobs" from SNL.
8. Wow California sounds like a great place to live. They've got landslides, earthquakes and super expensive houses. Where do I sign up?
Regarding the two people from PETA - you are looking at it wrong. These people are heros doing society's dirty work.
Pet Ownership is Slavery!
I'm just trying to keep things light, Theresa. Everybody has their own views on pet ownership, and I welcome everyone's viewpoint (not that I believe them).
ah yes, I am a supporter of cheap cat labor. It's good to own land.
Post a Comment
<< Home