Topical Chat, June 13, 2005

I just got back from the shore this past weekend, and thank goodness I didn't reapply sunscreen on my feet and legs, because the reddish hue that they are producing is quite spectacular. On to the news:

1. On a bag of chips being found inplace of a woman's ashes in a synagogue:
"Do you think the thief could've tried a little harder and used cigarette ashes instead of a bag of potato chips?"

2. On Mike Tyson retiring from boxing because he doesn't want to embarrass the sport:
"Better late than never, I guess."

3. On Pink Floyd reuniting for Live 8:
"Better late than never, part 2."

4. On Indonesia's president giving his cell phone number to the population in an effort to connect with them:
"Maybe he should've had keys for his house made for the entire population, so they could just drop by anytime."

5. On GM cutting prices of its cars:
"This is step 1. The next step is to actually make good, cool-looking cars."

6. On the breakup of Destiny's Child:
"Damn. What a loss to the music industry. I'm sure the other two girls will have a future career just as big as Bionce's."

7. On Sean Penn hired as a reporter for the San Francisco Chronicle in Iran:
"Wouldn't it be funny if he got punched out by somebody, just like he did to a reporter years ago? I would pay to see this."

8. On French men who want to try pregnancy:
"This adds to my confusion with how Americans and French don't get along."