Topical Chat, May 9, 2005
A slow start to the week, but I found some decent stories, I guess:
1. On Prince William joining the military:
"I'm guessing he is trainig for front-line battle in Iraq."
2. On Afleet Alex finishing 3rd in the Kentucky Derby:
"I would like to personally thank this horse for taking my attention away from watching the lowly Phillies."
3. On a decision of a school not to award a student a high school diploma, because the student took an advanced placement biology class instead of gym:
"Nice rational decision made by this school. One must forget about taking classes that would prep one for a good college, in order for the person to take more meaningful classes in dodge ball."
4. On the report that the nation's traffic jams are worsening:
"More of a reason to build ridiculously big SUV's, so that they can stuff up roads in cities even more."
5. On a chicken who was ticketed in California for crossing the road (impeding traffic):
"This is probably not what Mother Goose had in mind."
6. On a Brazilian town declaring today Orgasm day:
"I can't wait to see their tourist pamphlets!"
7. On the 60th anniversary of the Allied victory over Nazi Germany:
"Certainly, people from Hamburg to Munich are celebrating like it is Mardi Gras...."
8. On the possibility of fast food being taxed in Detroit:
"This is certainly a step in the right direction in making Detroit a safer city."
posted by Los @ 2:56 PM
3 guys/gals who rule
3 Comments:
1. On Prince William joining the military:
Will he first fight the Black Knight or throw the Holy Hand Grenade?
2. On Afleet Alex finishing 3rd in the Kentucky Derby:
A name like that, and finished THIRD? Better have been to Light Speed Louie and Bullet Train Bob.
3. On not awarding a HS diploma because of taking advanced placement biology instead of gym:
The kid's not smart enough to squeeze in gym class and still expects a degree?
4. On the report of worsening traffic jams:
Who wasted the money (probably my taxes) to produce this report?
5. On a chicken who was ticketed in California for crossing the road (impeding traffic):
PETA should pay the fine.
6. On Orgasm Day today in a Brazilian town:
Today would be declared Self-Orgasm Day locally, except Karl's so busy at work, he doesn't even have time for that. And the travel brochure's pages are probably stuck together.
7. On the 60th anniversary of the Allied victory over Nazi Germany:
Better yet, Cinco de Mayo. Gotta love a national holiday dedicated to beating the French.
8. On the possibility of fast food being taxed in Detroit:
Next, Detroit will tax basketball fans who instigate fights and charge the court.
1. On Prince William joining the military:
Royalty on the front-line?? Riiiight. I bet you it's a body double.
2. On Afleet Alex finishing 3rd in the Kentucky Derby:
Want some cheese with that whine Karl?
3. On not awarding a HS diploma because of taking advanced placement biology instead of gym:
Dodge ball! w000000t!
4. On the report of worsening traffic jams:
Easy solution, widen the roads, what's more - widen the LANES in the road. So one lane is actually four lanes wide. If people still get in jams after that, let the cattle culling begin.
5. On a chicken who was ticketed in California for crossing the road (impeding traffic):
What???!!? If the chicken doesn't pay the fine, it goes to jail. I can see animal advocate groups now: "Free the California Clucker! Free the California Clucker!"
6. On a Brazilian town declaring today Orgasm day:
Wow. Just.... wow! I got nothing! Go Brazilian town!
7. On the 60th anniversary of the Allied victory over Nazi Germany:
It should be "victory over Nazis", leave Germany out of this. It unfairly represents every German as a Nazi.
Now if it was Nazi France... fuck 'em.
8. On the possibility of fast food being taxed in Detroit:
"Taxation without representation is tyranny!" - I don't know what hat has to do with this, but I felt like quoting it. Oh yeah, FTG!
7. On the 60th anniversary of the Allied victory over Nazi Germany:
"La Hiem La Hiem tonight...."
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