Topical Talk, April 21, 2005
With another week almost over, here is another installment of Topical Talk:
1. On Monday Night Football moving from ABC to ESPN:
“I can only hope that they find a way to include Theismann and McGuire at ESPN, because I’d hate to go through an NFL game on ESPN without my ears bleeding.”
2. On the new German Pope:
“I think this should certainly sure-up the relationship between the Vatican and Jewish people the world over.”
3. On the 10-year anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombing:
“Doesn’t it suck for a city like Oklahoma City to be known for this incident? Philadelphia is known as ‘the city that has cheese-steaks.’ New York is known for the Statue of Liberty, and a bunch of obnoxious inhabitants.”
4. On the reconstruction of the food pyramid, and how it now has 12 sections:
“No wonder we are all getting fatter.”
5. On Michael Vick, the alleged Herpes scandal, and his alias – Ron Mexico:
“Could this be the greatest alias of all-time? Do you think Rod Smart is pissed he used the ‘He Hate Me’ nickname instead of this one?”
6. On KFC deciding to go back to its roots, and using “Kentucky Fried Chicken”:
“On the heals of this, rumor has it that McDonalds decided to change the name of its French fries to ‘Mc-Mega-fat-and-calorie-sticks.’ Seriously though, I have a hard time believing that anybody who went to KFC didn’t realize that the chicken they were eating was fried because they used the KFC initials instead of Kentucky Fried Chicken. Do you think that somebody ate fried chicken from KFC and said to themselves, ‘Man, this is good chicken, I wonder what the secret is. It almost tastes fried, but KFC doesn’t sell fried chicken!’”
7. On the Jane Fonda – tobacco spitting incident:
“Maybe we can get some pre-teens and have them throw chewing gum at Michael Jackson next.”
8. On Mariah Carey unseating 50 Cent as Billboard’s new number 1 album:
“It is good to see the music industry thriving again. I can’t wait for EMINEM to once again be atop of the charts, followed by Justin Timberlake. The creativity that is displayed on this list is quite amazing.”
posted by Los @ 11:27 AM
6 guys/gals who rule
6 Comments:
1. On Monday Night Football moving from ABC to ESPN:
“I hope they don’t technoize the Monday night theme song. Are youuuuuuuuuuu readyyyyyyyyyyyyy fo fo fo fo for some futtttttttttttballlllllllllllllll!”
2. On the new German Pope:
“What’s the worst an exHitler youth can do?”
3. On the 10-year anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombing:
“Doesn’t it suck for a city like Oklahoma City to be known for this incident? I never heard of the city before this. At least their known for something! (Sarcastic response will be appreciated for this one).”
4. On the reconstruction of the food pyramid, and how it now has 12 sections:
“But did you see the cute stair animation that went with the pyramid.” That’s certainly more important than what the american people eat.
5. On Michael Vick, the alleged Herpes scandal, and his alias – Ron Mexico:
“Stop changing the subject from TO to Vick!”
6. On KFC deciding to go back to its roots, and using “Kentucky Fried Chicken”:
I hoping they go back old school and change the Kentucky Fried Chicken name back to Ginos’.
7. On the Jane Fonda – tobacco spitting incident:
“So Barabarella’s chewin the whacy tobaccy, good to know, good to know.”
8. On Mariah Carey unseating 50 Cent as Billboard’s new number 1 album:
“You’re just pissed the the Stones aren’t #1. Let it go man, let it go!”
1. ken, that would be phenominal. I hope john madden adds some beat-box to that number.
2. A 78 year old man who has health issues... well he is pretty close to god anyway at this point in his life.
3. There's been bombings in Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook, and by golly, it put them on the map!
4. I actually haven't seen the new pyramid, but considering how well Americans have paid attention to the last one, this one is bound to be a raging success.
5. I saw that the NFL is no longer selling 'ron mexico' falcons jerseys. That's nice of the NFL to leave this money making opportunity to the scalpers.
6. Has anyone tried the new 99-cent snackers. They look good, but I almost never go to KFC.
7. Instead of a comment, I suggest everyone check out this week's commedy goldmine over at www.somethingawful.com.
8. In other news, Ben Folds releases a new album this week. He's grown a mullet. Watch this baby climb the charts.
8.
On question number 3 and Ken's response - "Yes, I am sure a lot of small towns are hoping to be the victims of some sort of terrorist attacks so that people will know about their town."
"I haven't seen the reconstruction of the pyramid yet, just read the news title....gotta keep the American people interested."
"Actually, Geno's and KFC were never the same, they just had an agreement to use the same recipe. They split up, however. There are still Geno's chicken places down south."
"Actually, Jane Fonda got tobacco spit onto her at a book signing. I doubt she actually chews tobacco."
"I just want good music on top of the charts.....if it happens to be the Stones, then so be it."
1. On Monday Night Football moving to ESPN:
ESPN is already trying to make the first game Maurice Clarett at one of the NY teams.
2. On the new German Pope:
A rare serious answer from me: Israel has recognized the new pope as the architect of JP2's embrace of Israel and denouncement of terrorism.
3. On the 10-year anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombing:
Yeah, nothing like the nickname Philthahoma City.
4. On the reconstruction of the food pyramid, and how it now has 12 sections:
Your tax dollars say brown rice is a green vegetable. Seriously.
5. On Michael Vick, the alleged Herpes scandal, and his alias – Ron Mexico:
A new twist to the "Michael Vick Experience" ads!
6. On KFC again being “Kentucky Fried Chicken”:
Now we know who put the finger in the Wendy's chili.
7. On the Jane Fonda – tobacco spitting incident:
The Jolly Green Giant just spat brown rice on some bureaucrat.
8. On Mariah Carey unseating 50 Cent as Billboard’s new number 1 album:
The pope is next.
1. meh. I got nothing.
2. Heil, Popeler!
3. Mmmmmmm, cheese steaks.
4. 12 sections? Really? They're actually making it more complex? Not dumbing it down for general American populace? wow.
5. Hmmm, you can call me Loomis Zimbabwe!
6. Hmmmm, maybe they should got the Path of Prince and just use a stylized picture of a chicken as their name.
7. Just don't care.
8. Mainstream sucks. Just sucks. The "talent" of the idiots is so insipidly stupid that it makes me want to shove icepicks in my ears.
Oooo, my grammar sucked that time around. hehe
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