Topical Talk April 18, 2005
What a great weekend! Good topics to "discuss," and I will address some topic suggestions that have been posted or e-mailed to me. If there are any others you would like "discussed," feel free to let me know:
1. On the Terrell Owens contract situation:
"How can one possibly be expected to support his family with a paltry $7 million a year contract?"
2. On the bad joke that got a 911 operator in trouble, when he suggested he would send somebody out to shoot the kid:
"This country has certainly lost its sense of humor. Maybe if the operator would've used the 'rim-shot' sound effect after he told the joke, maybe the caller would've 'gotten it.'"
3. On the Italian soccer match where the goalie got hit with a flare:
"Thank goodness the crack stadium security crew was able to make sure that no rocket launchers were confiscated into the game."
4. On the possible end of the friendship between Nicole Ritchie and Paris Hilton:
"If this means the end of their reality t.v. show, I'm not sure what I'm going to do with my life."
5. On John Street being voted one of the country's worst mayors by Time magazine:
"From the department of redundency department. I for one am shocked by this? Certainly, just because he is corrupt, doesn't mean he is a bad mayor, does it?"
6. On George Steinbrenner blasting his $225 million dollar team for underachieving:
"First of all, I feel 'really' bad for the Yankees and their fans. Second, with a $225 million payroll, the only way this team will overachieve is if it finds the cure for cancer and AIDS."
7. On the new species of slime-mold beetle being named after the president:
"Was Michael Jackson's name already used on a different species of slime-mold beetle?"
8. On my brother's bachelor party this past weekend:
"We laughed, we cried, we vomited....Actually, I'm not sure if anybody did vomit, and I hope nobody cried, but we sure did laugh."
posted by Los @ 8:56 AM
4 guys/gals who rule
4 Comments:
I can't believe you didn't mention the Phillies. They kicked ass yesterday!
1. I can't believe I sang that stupid TO song, and now he pulls this. It's like Rocky suddenly fighting for the Russians or something.
2. Somebody get Super Nanny!!!
3. I'm not sure who's more rowdy: American sports fans or European sports fans. We've both certainly had our moments.
4. I hadn't heard this one yet. I'm still astonished that Paris Hilton is famous for ABSOLUTELY NO REASON WHATSOEVER.
5. Fortunately the Philly press spin doctors have turned this story into "Mayor Street is the best US mayor EVARRRRR!!!"
6. If I had $225 million dollars, man I'd sure be spending it much better than George Steinbrenner. I'd probably spend the $100 million better than those Phils as well.
7. I've got nothing. This is why I'm not in comedy or journalism.
8. In addition to laughing, I think I cursed a good bit. No vomit though, which makes me a believer in that liquor before beer thing. Of course the bachelorettes, now that's another story in the vomit department. I think every one of them drove the porcelain bus.
Can't believe you haven't mentioned Ron Mexico (aka Michael Vick).
1. On T.O.:
At least he wasn't the one who got tired in the Super Bowl. Just ask him.
2. On the bad 911 operator joke:
Philly would have sent helicopters with bombs.
3. On the Italian soccer goalie hit with a flare:
Speakers outside the New Orleans Superdome run warnings against bringing in missiles. Which makes you think some idiot actually tried it before.
4. On the possible end of the friendship between Nicole Ritchie and Paris Hilton:
Who said "Pimpin' Ain't Easy"?
5. On John Street being one of the country's worst mayors:
I miss Marion Barry.
6. On George Steinbrenner:
I don't get it. Sure, he's evil because he spends so much, but he's also the only owner in baseball that actually demands excellence.
7. On the new species of slime-mold beetle:
Still waiting for scientists to discover the jello-mold beetle.
8. On my brother's bachelor party:
I'm pretty sure the mule cried. By the way, you can't slash your wrists with an electric razor.
Can't believe you haven't mentioned Ron Mexico (aka Michael Vick).
1. On T.O.:
At least he wasn't the one who got tired in the Super Bowl. Just ask him.
2. On the bad 911 operator joke:
Philly would have sent helicopters with bombs.
3. On the Italian soccer goalie hit with a flare:
Speakers outside the New Orleans Superdome run warnings against bringing in missiles. Which makes you think some idiot actually tried it before.
4. On the possible end of the friendship between Nicole Ritchie and Paris Hilton:
Who said "Pimpin' Ain't Easy"?
5. On John Street being one of the country's worst mayors:
I miss Marion Barry.
6. On George Steinbrenner:
I don't get it. Sure, he's evil because he spends so much, but he's also the only owner in baseball that actually demands excellence.
7. On the new species of slime-mold beetle:
Still waiting for scientists to discover the jello-mold beetle.
8. On my brother's bachelor party:
I'm pretty sure the mule cried. By the way, you can't slash your wrists with an electric razor.
Post a Comment
<< Home