Topical Chat, April 22, 2005
It has been a good week for topics, so I figured I'd treat you to a third topical chat for the week (don't get used to it):
1. On Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner's engagement:
"Yeah, I know. Bennifer the sequel. I guess Jennifer Garner doesn't care about her professional career, because Ben is like Hollywood repellent right now."
2. On the fan that was injured at a D.C. Nationals game at RFK:
"The police are looking into whether or not alcohol was involved. I'd be surprised if that is all they found in his blood-stream."
3. On the Michael Jackson witness who was arrested for having sex with a minor:
"Monkey see, monkey do."
4. On the teen who faked the theft of his BMW in order to buy a Bentley:
"Man, this kid must really have it tough. He probably comes from a poor family. 'BMW? Ewwwww!'"
5. On Paula Abdul claiming she is not addicted to drugs or pain pills:
"No wonder her music sucks."
6. On the 35th Earth Day:
"Our country is definitely screwed up when you take into account that the Jackson trial is getting more publicity than this. "
7. On an officer accidentally firing off his gun while on the toilet:
"I think I saw this skit on either Benny Hill or the Three Stooges. Can you imagine the ribbing this guy is going to get from the police department? I have a feeling he won't be 'hangin' bananas' at the police office for a while."
8. On the Lakers and Kobe Bryant not making the playoffs, and the rumor that Phil Jackson is coming back to coach them next year:
"That's too bad that the 'Kobe Bryant player/GM' experiment didn't work out. I know that all fans outside of Los Angeles were really pulling for that spoiled brat to succeed.
posted by Los @ 4:16 PM
2 guys/gals who rule
2 Comments:
1. On Bennifer 2:
She's obviously never seen the South Park episode. Or any of his movies.
2. On the injured fan at a D.C. Nationals game at RFK:
He told the police "Bitch set me up."
3. On the Michael Jackson witness arrested for having sex with a minor:
The old joke proven true: it's bedtime at the Neverland Ranch when the big hand touches the little hand.
4. On the teen who faked the theft of his BMW in order to buy a Bentley:
Next he stars in "Pimp My Ass in Jail."
5. On Paula Abdul not addicted to drugs or pain pills:
Not since she quit the Laker Girls.
6. On the 35th Earth Day:
It would be far more entertaining to watch granola people go to Third World countries, where pollution is far worse, and tell some peasant living in a cow-crap shack how bad his lifestyle is for the environment.
7. On an officer accidentally firing off his gun while on the toilet:
Mr. Hankey wouldn't surrender peacefully.
8. On Kobe Bryant and Phil Jackson:
We've never seen Phil Jackson and the Unabomber in the same place at the same time. Hmmm ... And Dave Chappelle's skit on the Kobe Bryant Consent and Nondisclosure Contracts was hilarious.
Hmm, I got some catching up to do....
1. Who the F cares? The lives of these Hollywood pissants are about as important as a boil on the ass of a donkey. (On a different note, I finally got to see Hellboy over my vacation.... kick ASS! It's so Cthulhian it rocks!)
2. Look at me.... caring. Part I.
3. Time to thin the herd of these scum. Gimme a gun. Seriously.
4. DOn't worry! Daddy will get him out of jail AND buy him a Bentley!
Cattle.
5. /agree
6. When a Hyper-cane finally hits, maybe, just maybe, the government will finally take notice. Probably not, though.
7. Hmmm... could be some new "#2" entries. "Shot the john", "Dropping bullets", "Capping the toilet".
8. Look at me.... caring. Part II.
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