Topical Chat, May 6, 2005
Oh the news keeps rolling in. I think you will all enjoy these actual headlines:
1. On the 2 tons of salami a person sent to the troops in Iraq:
"I hear that a lady has decided to match this guy, and send 2 tons of hairy donuts to Iraq."
2. On a new Wizard of Oz "munchkin" tell-all book:
"I think it is called, 'the smells are different down here.'" (thanks for the idea, Ryk).
3. On the turkey and grave flavored soda:
"Um, could you pass the candied-yams Sprite, please."
4. On the ohio woman arrested during a job interview:
"My guess is that she didn't get the job."
5. On the school that banned its marching band from playing Louie Louie because the lyrics are lewd:
"Somebody has the lyrics to Louie Louie?"
6. On the time traveller conference that was organzied by a student at M.I.T.:
"I'm waiting for the dinosaur time traveller conference, personally."
7. On the "whore college" that offers 'hands-on' training in San Francisco:
"I'm trying to find a way to apply to be a professor at this campus."
8. On William "the Refrigerator" Perry challening top speed eaters in a cake-eating contest:
"I have feeling that 'the Fridge' is not fast at anything he does, including eating."
posted by Los @ 11:33 AM
2 guys/gals who rule
2 Comments:
1. On the 2 tons of salami a person sent to the troops in Iraq:
"And 2 coconuts."
2. On a new Wizard of Oz "munchkin" tell-all book:
"Poor little guy."
3. On the turkey and grave flavored soda:
"GRAVE flavored?????"
4. On the ohio woman arrested during a job interview:
"Have you ever been arrested before? No? Ok." Police take her away. "Hmmm, better change that to yes"
5. On the school that banned its marching band from playing Louie Louie because the lyrics are lewd:
"How about banning all country music because it's stupid."
6. On the time traveller conference that was organzied by a student at M.I.T.:
"Ummmm, I got nothing."
7. On the "whore college" that offers 'hands-on' training in San Francisco:
"So if you called someone a 'whore' there, would it e harrassment?"
8. On William "the Refrigerator" Perry challening top speed eaters in a cake-eating contest:
"Someone's gonna have a sugar rush."
Oh, and Karl, your spelling SUCKS today.
1. On sending 2 tons of salami to the troops in Iraq:
Somebody send 2 tons of pork products to the terrorists. Please.
2. On a new Wizard of Oz "munchkin" tell-all book:
Coming soon: the Dunkin' Donuts munchkin tell-all book.
3. On the turkey and grave flavored soda:
When I die, bury me in a gravy. (BTW, this story is at least 6 months old.)
4. On the ohio woman arrested during a job interview:
OJ found Nicole's killer in Ohio?
5. On the school banning Louie Louie:
The Wall Street Journal noted today, "the FBI spent two years investigating the lyrics before declaring they not only were not obscene but also were 'unintelligible at any speed.'"
6. On the time traveller conference at MIT:
Keynote speaker Capt. James T. Kirk.
7. On Whore College in San Francisco:
Havin been to SF numerous times, so many thoughts, so little time ... I'd hate to see or smell the rejected applicants (or the accepted ones, for that matter). The academic accreditation process could be interesting, though. Does the school offer a graduate program in Pimping? Do sorority sluts get advanced placement or honors courses? Can tuition be paid in crack?
8. On William "the Refrigerator" Perry challening top speed eaters:
The Fridge will eat the other contestants?
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