Topical Chat, May 31, 2005
Well, I'm back from Vegas, and no, I didn't win a considerable amount of money (but I didn't lose a considerable amount either). I hope you didn't go through withdrawal (except for Ryk, who already informed me that he has):
1. On the alarming rate of blindness among Viagra users:
"This is not nearly as alarming as the 'stiffness' rate that is 'rising' among users."
2. On the new Live Aid show that is being planned:
"I'm guessing it will be pretty hard to get Freddie Mercury to do a return appearance for this."
3. On Paris Hilton being engaged:
"Sure, it is shocking that Paris is engaged. What will be more shocking is if a wedding, in fact, takes place."
4. On a Deacon trying to change the name of the New Jersey Devils hockey team because it is "offensive":
"Enough, already. What does the Deacon want them to change their names to, the 'Whipper-snappers?"
5. On KFC being burned during a riot in Pakistan:
"I guess the crowd liked extra crispy over the original recipe."
6. On the new system that purifies water from a pig pen:
"It is called 'I can't believe it's not crap.'"
7. "On a teen killing six people on his graduation day:
"I'm guessing he didn't get into Harvard?"
8. "On the woman driver who finished 4th in the Indy 500:
"Do guys find this sexy or repugnant?"
posted by Los @ 10:49 AM
4 guys/gals who rule
4 Comments:
Ahhhhhhh, my fix.
1. On the alarming rate of blindness among Viagra users:
"I guess they didn't see this coming."
2. On the new Live Aid show that is being planned:
"Well, they could bring back Freddie, they'd just have to call it 'Dead Aid'"
3. On Paris Hilton being engaged:
"Weird, the guy she's marrying is named 'Paris Latsis'".
4. On a Deacon trying to change the name of the New Jersey Devils hockey team because it is "offensive":
"Rock On! New Jersey Devil!"
5. On KFC being burned during a riot in Pakistan:
"This is just funny"
6. On the new system that purifies water from a pig pen:
"NEW! Pork flavored water! Now with more trichinosis!"
7. On a teen killing six people on his graduation day:
"I was happy when I graduated high school, but this is just crazy-talk!"
8. On the woman driver who finished 4th in the Indy 500:
"Indy 500 Fans: Start your wet dreams!"
1. Viagra:
Isn't there something else that causes blindness for guys? Is this related in any way?
2. Band Aid
Let's hope it goes better than Woodstock II.
3. Paris Wedding
Up next: videos of their honeymoon- and hell since they have the same name get the city involved too.
4. The Devils
This is the same boat as the Washington Redskins and The Fighting Illini. People need to relax.
5. KFC
Now they'll all miss out on the wonder that is the snacker. I swear that is the best thing to come out of KFC.
6. Water Purification
This really isn't news. We do this sort of thing every day (see Waterworld)
7. Graduation killing spree
Now this is eff-ed up! I actually hadn't heard about this yet.
8. Indy woman
I'm surprised there wasn't a massive wreck with her involved. But since you never see her while she's driving- it makes no difference to me. I'm predicting a 2006 calendar of her and her racecar.
The Indy 500 woman already has a calendar out, and she isn't bad looking, either.
Top Nine ways to know your Vegas hotel is bad.
9. While checking in the desk clerk keeps asking, "What you got in the bag, Dude?"
8. Bell hop loses your luggage on the way to the room.
7. You recognize the Security Guard from America's Most Wanted.
6. Instead of free soap & shampoo you get a fly swatter and mousetrap.
5. The last occupant left their meth lab in the closet.
4. At check out you learn the in-room movie charge is $699.00 not $6.99.
3. Two words: Killer Bees.
2. The only channel on TV only plays old Rush Limbaugh reruns.
1. Chalk outlines on floor!
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