Topical Chat, June 17, 2005

The end of yet another newsworthy week. 5:00 can't come fast enough!

1. On an executive who tried interviewing a woman while he was naked:
"This guy must've really thought things through... 'if I interview a lady while I'm naked, what could possibly go wrong.'"

2. On a Florida State quarterback who thinks that he is God:
"Obviously, if he is going to Florida State, he is not God."

3. On the "runaway bride" inking a new movie deal:
"I want to do something crazy, so that I can get paid for it!"

4. On the 25-year anniversary of Pac-Man:
"This story doesn't make me feel old at all."

5. On a study that claims that a man's nipple can also soothe a baby:
"Who is conducting this sort of research? I should congratulate the scientists for finding a cure for cancer, AIDS, and the common cold, so now they can tackle such meaningful research like a man's nipple."

6. On Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' engagement:
"I guess I found my answer on how the news was going to cope with the end of the Michael Jackson trial."

7. On a woman accused of hitting her husband in the head with a dumbell to stop him from snoring:
"I guess the attempts of trying to suffocate him to death were unsuccessful."

8. On cheerleaders being discipline for putting feces on pizza:
"Makes my mouth water just thinking about it....On a related note, I'd like to thank those cheerleaders for ruining my love of pizza."