Topical Chat, July 5, 2005

I can't believe the holiday weekend is already over. I hope everybody had a blast, and nobody blasted off any fingers during any "drunken" fireworks fights. Now, onto some crazy news stories:

1. On Mexican stamps that will "insult people around the world:"
"My guess is that people will be insulted that somebody actually had the balls to send them an envelope with a Mexican stamp on it."

2. On the new Bobby Brown reality show:
"My hope is that there will be scenes in which Bobby and Whitney are at bars coked up, so that we can see true television magic. If scenes like this are not in the TV show, it will be a total waste."

3. On the new Hulk Hogan reality show:
"I can't even think of a way to make this one interesting.....and I'm a wrasslin' fan."

4. On MTV's coverage of Live-8:
"I shouldn't be surprised after the terrible work that MTV did.......afterall, they haven't played music in at least 10 years."

5. On the annual 4th of July hot-dog eating contest at Coney Island:
"I'm still wondering how a 115-pound guy can eat 50 hot dogs in a span of 12 minutes, and still only weigh 115 pounds. I eat 2 at a barbecue, and I gain weight. How is that possible?"

6. On NASA successfully hitting a comet with a space probe:
"Talkin' about going overboard on the 4th of July...."

7. On the "Mosquito Man," who has been bitten so many times, he is immune to the effects of mosquito's saliva:
"The lengths some people will go to in order to get in the newspaper."

8. On the death of Luther Vandros:
"I thought this would get more press, considering Luther's voice helped a lot of people get laid."