Topical Chat, June 24, 2005
Geez, after that last PETA topic, maybe I'll stick to more "soft" stuff.....Nah!
1. On a pizza shop robber leaving behind a job application:
"I wonder if it says on the application 'if hired, I will bring back the money.'"
2. On a giant popsicle melting and flooding a New York park:
"It is a good thing that they didn't decide to do this in the winter time WHEN THERE WOULD BE A GREATER CHANCE THAT THE POPSICLE WOULDN'T MELT SO QUICKLY! This sounds like the beginning of one of those old Polish jokes, doesn't it?"
3. On senior citizens complaining about nude statues:
"Sounds to me like some people who are beginning to look more like Chinese Shar Peis are getting a little jealous of chiseled bodies."
4. On a drunken student pilot stealing a single-engine plane and flying around undetected for 5 hours:
"This makes me feel really safe about flying again. Sounds like everything is under control.......NOT!"
5. On a man who got hit in the head by a shot put at the U.S. Track and Field Championships, and died:
"If a shot-putter ends up mis-firing the shot put, should he yell 'fore?'"
6. On a Florida cleaning crew being filmed drinking $4,000 worth of a bar's liquor:
"Maybe these guys were hit in the head with shot puts prior to coming up with this grand idea."
7. On the San Antonio Spurs winning the NBA championship:
"Seriously, is basketball still going on???? It's June 24, for crying out loud. The good news is that now that the NBA is over, the Street Ball Tour will be coming to your town soon (God help us all)."
8. On a gas station owner cashing in nearly 1.4 million pennies:
"Somebody sounds like they'll be needing a new hobby soon. If I was the bank teller and he came in with four 55-gallon tubs of pennies, I'd probably do something irrational."
posted by Los @ 8:13 AM
2 guys/gals who rule
2 Comments:
ah friday.
1. Pizza theft
This guy has it all wrong. You do it like the folks in #6. First you get the job, then you steal things.
2. Popsicle mishap
Mind you, this came through the Snapple coorporation, which means that multiple (high ranking?)people probably signed off on this stupidity. I'd fire everyone who ever touched this project.
3. Senior Citizens: Complaining about everything all the time.
4. Drunken Joy-fly?
Things could have ended very badly had he entered some sort of restricted airspace area. Actually, had that happened, the human gene pool would probably be better off.
5. Shot put is when you try to throw that big metal ball- probably about 20 yards max if you're really good at it. I have no idea how this judge managed to get himself killed. It's not a spear or a bullet or anything. Was he sunbathing on the course?
6. If you actually read the article, these folks claimed:
1) They knew they were being taped
2) They didn't do anything wrong
3) They didn't regret their actions
That's some OMGWTFBBQ right there.
7. Wait, isn't the WNBA supposed to start up soon? And then, in the fall we have hocke... well maybe not. But the phillies are looking str... oh they lost again. well, at least there will be harmony at the eagles training cam...
8. This collection weighed 4.5 tons for a whopping $13,000 over 35 years to help suplement his social security payments. $13,000 over 35 years? that's it?!? Maybe someone should have told him about IRAs or 401ks or something. Hey look I've wasted my life, put me on CNN!!!
OMGWTFBBQ!!!!!!
1. On a pizza shop robber leaving behind a job application:
"Idiot. He should have stolen a pizza too. Mmmmmm, pepperoni."
2. On a giant popsicle melting and flooding a New York park:
"Let's make the world's largest popsicle during Summer! Idiots."
3. On senior citizens complaining about nude statues:
"In the wise words of Homer Simpson: 'The human wang is a beautiful thing, Maude'"
4. On a drunken student pilot stealing a single-engine plane and flying around undetected for 5 hours:
"Yeah. We're secure."
5. On a man who got hit in the head by a shot put at the U.S. Track and Field Championships, and died:
"Sucks to be him."
6. On a Florida cleaning crew being filmed drinking $4,000 worth of a bar's liquor:
"4000$??? How many people were on the crew??? To drink 4000$ worth of liquor is just amazing!."
7. On the San Antonio Spurs winning the NBA championship:
"The San antonio who?"
8. On a gas station owner cashing in nearly 1.4 million pennies:
"1,400,000 pennies = 280,000 nickels = 140,000 dimes = 56,000 quarters = 28,000 half dollars. I'm bored"
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