Topical Chat, July 15, 2005

Because it is Friday, and I really don't have any words of wisdom to impart to all (both) of you, here is a great little "addage" that I was taught many years ago - I'd rather be a smart feller, than a fart smeller. Onto the chat:

1. On a man who tried to rob the sam bank branch in California 5 times:
"Considering the effective jury system they have in California, he should be found not guilty."

2. On a "prankster" boy who was nearly crushed in a garbage truck:
"My guess is that he will be invited to Neverland Ranch to 'recuperate' very shortly."

3. On the end of the NHL lockout:
"Bob Goodenow's job is probably about as secure as Ed Wade's job is, considering the players agreed to a worse deal than they would've gotten if they accepted the owners' February offer. Goodenow effectively crushed the players' union."

4. On the Virginia woman who had more than 400 cats in 2 homes:
"She additionally owns a chain of Chinese food restaurants.

5. On a male athlete in Zimbabwe who was arrested for competing as a girl:
"This is exactly what the East Germans were accused of in the Olympic games before the Berlin Wall fell."

6. On a woman getting a $74,000 water bill:
"The bill showed she had 'used' 10 million gallons of water in a month. Either she owns more than a dozen swimming pools (Olympic size), or there might have been a small miscalculation by the water company."

7. On the guy who is driving around Philadelphia in a yellow Dodge Neon, pleasuring himself to women in other cars:
"A yellow Dodge Neon???? C'mon, at least buck up some money and get the Dodge Charger for goodness sake."

8. On the Oklahoma woman who gave birth while drunk:
"Looks like she is prepping her son to be quarterback for the Sooners a little early.