Topical Chat, August 26, 2005
It's Friday and oil is selling at an all-time high ... again! I have an idea, how about reporting when oil is not selling at an all-time high - that would be news:
1. On a Hollywood producer who had a heart-attack, fell on his daughter, and suffocated her to death:
"This sounds like a good ABC After School movie idea."
2. On a Swedish King rear-ending a car with his BMW:
"First of all, what is the king doing driving his own car? Shouldn't this be left to the peasants?"
3. On two pilots forgetting to put out the landing gear of their small plane:
"I'm guessing they probably aren't going to make it on the U.S. Airways short-list of up-and-coming pilots to look out for."
4. On the All Rolling Stones station on Sirius Satellite radio:
"Let me be the first to say it's about time, darn it!. This may actually be the thing that makes me seriously consider Sirius (get it?)."
5. On Iron Maiden getting pelted with eggs and beer at Ozzfest:
"I can understand the beer, but eggs????"
6. On Thailand's leader trying to get rid of one of his government ministers because he got a penis enlargement:
"It's good to see that Thailand has solved all of their other problems so that they can focus on something as big (get it?) as this."
7. On Lance Armstrong claiming French journalists are slimy:
"Um......Lance, all French people are slimy."
8. On a 420-pound man being charged with stealing beer from a store for the second time this year:
"I'd love to see the store owner trying to pick this guy out in a police line-up."
posted by Los @ 8:54 AM
3 guys/gals who rule
3 Comments:
1. That poor little girl.
Now if someone keeled over and smothered, say, Paris Hilton - then I'd be laughing my ass off.
2. Hmmmm, I didn't know the Swedes have a Monarchy. Help! Help! I'm being repressed!
3. Other way around Karl, you DO want to look out for them. Oh, my flight is being piloted by these guys? Think I'll catch the next plane.
4. And your little punny joke may make me seriously consider kicking your ass.
5. I got nothing, I like both Ozzy and Maiden.
6. Puns make want to stab, stab, stab, stabby, mcstabstab!
7. The French are the penultimate in sliminess.
8. Hopr he got the lite-beer!
addendum to 7 -
The right wing, neo-conservative republicans are the ultimate in sliminess.
1. On a Hollywood producer who had a heart-attack, fell on his daughter, and suffocated her to death:
Yeesh... couldn't you think of something funnier to roll out in the beginning of the blog?
2. On a Swedish King rear-ending a car with his BMW:
Why shouldn't kings drive themselves? It's not like they're real politicians who need drivers.
3. On two pilots forgetting to put out the landing gear of their small plane:
Yeah, I always forget that when I'm out flying my lear jet. It's so easy to forget such a small detail.
4. On the All Rolling Stones station on Sirius Satellite radio:
WOO-HOO! I am buying more Sirius stock for my portfolio as we speak. I'm up to 22 shares right now. It's going to spike once Stern starts getting that revenue in their coffers. And the additional spike from Stones fans getting receivers now won't hurt either.
5. On Iron Maiden getting pelted with eggs and beer at Ozzfest:
How about Sharon Osbourne coming on stage after their set and trashing them to the crowd? I think she passed out the eggs.
6. On Thailand's leader trying to get rid of one of his government ministers because he got a penis enlargement:
What a dick! Get it?
7. On Lance Armstrong claiming French journalists are slimy:
OK... this whole Lance thing is starting to worry me. There's too much smoke around him right now for there not to be some sort of fire.
8. On a 420-pound man being charged with stealing beer from a store for the second time this year:
OK... this is not fair. First of all, the owner said I could have the beer for free. They got nothing on me this time. Yeah, I stole some the first time around, but this time I'm innocent. And secondly, I'm down to 340 pounds. So they even misquoted my weight in the article. That's it, I'm calling my lawyer.
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