Topical Chat, October 7, 2005

End of another week, but this one (at least in the Philly area) should be a wet weekend - hopefully the Buckeyes will be "all washed up" after Saturdays game:

1. On Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes expecting a baby:
"They will name him Lucifer."

2. On an author theorizing that Harry Potter is gay:
"Um......I'm not into the whole Harry Potter series, so this comment might irk some of you dorks that are. Why would anybody spend time theorizing about Harry Potter?"

3. On a python bursting after trying to eat an alligator in the Everglades:
"I always heard alligator could cause heart-burn, but this is ridiculous!"

4. On a woman who claims her life was saved because she skipped watching Oprah on a day that a boulder crashed through her house:
"But think of all of the time she wasted watching that show in the past. She may as well be dead."

5. On Arnold Schwarzeneger signing sex crime bills in which California will no longer pay for Viagra for sex offenders:
"My question is, why did California pay for Via......nevermind, I just answered my own question ... it's California."

6. On the creator of fake dog testicles winning the Ig Nobel Prize for medicine:
"If a dog licks his fake testicles, do they taste normal?"

7. On a man accused of sending an imposter to take a court-ordered paternity test:
"If the imposter looked similar to the guy, it sounds like a clever idea."

8. On a 1085 pound pumpkn at the West Virginia pumpkin festival:
"And to think, all of the other Peanuts characters made fun of Linus and told him there was no Great Pumpkin."