Topical Chat, September 21, 2005
So, only 17 hurricanes so far ... right before the half-way point of hurricane season? Sounds like an off-year (dripping with sarcasm).
1. On a New Orleans Saints football "home" game against the Giants in New York:
"Gee, that seems fair for the Saints. Good thing they didn't try to hold it at a neutral field. Tagliabue isn't from New York, is he ... oh yeah, I forgot ... he is."
2. On Wisconsin Librarians posing for a sexy calendar:
"Unfortunately, when I think of librarians, I think of Mrs. Jukes from Glenolden school ... nice lady, but nowhere close to being sexy."
3. On WalMart being accused of denying lunch breaks:
"Was this company started in China, or is WalMart pulling these 'pranks' to make them more appeasing in China."
4. On a condom company in China that is making condoms under the brand names of "Clinton" and "Lewinsky:"
"Nice names for a condom, but if we are going to use a Presidential name for a condom, why not 'Bush?'"
5. On a jury that will see the sex toy that an ex-judge used in his courtroom:
"Gives a whole new meaning to the term 'beating the gavel.'"
6. On a Dutch talk show host who is going to take Heroin on the air:
"Now what would be really funny would be if a game-show host snorted coke on TV ... oh wait, Chuck Barris took care of that already."
7. On the new cargo skirt for men:
"It looks like I missed the boat on this one, because I seriously don't see myself wearing this."
8. On a dance-off in Wichita, KS, between two drill teams that led to a rumble:
"Oh man, what a great movie idea ... oh wait, didn't 'Drumline' already cover this?"
posted by Los @ 9:02 AM
3 guys/gals who rule
3 Comments:
17 hurricanes? Meh... I won't be satisfied til we get a hypercane.
1. ?? I don't get it.
2. Mmmmmm, sexy AND book smart!
3. Walmart is the next overlord of the world. Today: No Lunchbreaks. Tomorrow: Ethnic Cleansing.
4. And we care about a Chinese Condom company why????
5. Doh! Gives new meaning to "The Hammer of Justice" No... wait.... that doesn't make sense.
6. Idiot.
7. Cargo skirt??? What is this? Are they trying to update the scottish/irish kilts?
8. Why does this make me think of West Side Story?
1. On a New Orleans Saints football "home" game against the Giants in New York:
A neutral site would have been better. You mean to tell me they couldn't have used Reliant Stadium in Houston on a Monday Night? They used it the day before, so it was already ready for an NFL game. Just use it again.
2. On Wisconsin Librarians posing for a sexy calendar:
"Unfortunately, when I think of librarians, I think of Mrs. Jukes from Glenolden school ... nice lady, but nowhere close to being sexy."
Mrs Jukes was mean and insensitive to me in 2nd grade. She read a book to us about a monster that ate fat kids, then said before she read it "He would have loved Steven". You tell me if that is good to do for a kid? I tell you, the teachers at Glenolden School were a bunch of loons that made me go into therapy.
3. On WalMart being accused of denying lunch breaks:
What a shocker that is, huh? I used to get breaks when I worked at Kmart.
4. On a condom company in China that is making condoms under the brand names of "Clinton" and "Lewinsky:"
"Nice names for a condom, but if we are going to use a Presidential name for a condom, why not 'Bush?'"
No, we would use the name Bush for a suppository or a tampon instead.
5. On a jury that will see the sex toy that an ex-judge used in his courtroom:
"Gives a whole new meaning to the term 'beating the gavel.'"
You've given your gavel a beating many a night, eh?
6. On a Dutch talk show host who is going to take Heroin on the air:
"Now what would be really funny would be if a game-show host snorted coke on TV ... oh wait, Chuck Barris took care of that already."
HEYYY-OHHHH!
7. On the new cargo skirt for men:
"It looks like I missed the boat on this one, because I seriously don't see myself wearing this."
I don't ever want to see you wearing this.
8. On a dance-off in Wichita, KS, between two drill teams that led to a rumble:
I think it would have been funny if our high school band did that. All of a sudden, they run out of the stands and go beat up Chichester's band or something like that.
hmmm. slow hurricane season.
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