Topical Chat, September 19, 2005
Last few days of summer - ugh, didn't summer just start a few weeks ago? Where the heck have I been ... don't answer that!
1. On North Korea agreeing to halt their Nuclear program:
"They also have the Brooklyn Bridge that they want to sell us..."
2. On a New Zealand lawmaker who vowed to run naked through streets if rival was re-elected, and now has to honor promise:
"See, these are the vows people shouldn't make. Murphy's Law - if something can go wrong, it will."
3. On residents in Grand Forks, North Dakota, gobbling an estimated 4,518 pounds of French Fries, a new record for a single serving:
"I'm guessing this is the big summer event in Grand Forks. There probably isn't much else to get excited for outside of the annual french fry eating contest."
4. On a man breaking the record for most hours - 69 hours and 48 minutes watching TV:
"What a motivated individual ... nobody can ever take that honor away from him. Do you think he is a hit at parties? By the way, I think I know a few people that could challenge his record."
5. On prisoners at an Illinois correctional center being locked down for four days after the Warden loses keys:
"I thought Hazzard County was further south ... those Duke boys are sure funny."
6. On a building being evacuated after a man sets the carpet on fire with a massive shock of static electricity:
"That really is shocking (get it!)."
7. On a former school building being used as a swingers club in Indiana:
"Thursday nights is bring your own pig night."
8. On State police officers finding a huge pot forest in West Virginia when they were looking for a downed plane:
"Gives a whole new meaning to the term, 'high as a kite.'"
posted by Los @ 9:03 AM
2 guys/gals who rule
2 Comments:
1. On North Korea agreeing to halt their Nuclear program:
And I bet George W Bush is going to take credit for it too. Yeah, this is a snowjob if there ever was one.
2. On a New Zealand lawmaker who vowed to run naked through streets if rival was re-elected, and now has to honor promise:
In a related note, I have vowed to run through the streets naked if I lose 150 more pounds from today. At least I will look good doing it. And, once I get to 149, I can eat a big plate of buffalo wings and keep myself from that 150th pound. I make smarter bets.
3. On residents in Grand Forks, North Dakota, gobbling an estimated 4,518 pounds of French Fries, a new record for a single serving:
Now my real question is... did they use forks? I mean, they are from Grand Forks. I would think they would use forks to eat their french fries. And aren't people who use forks to eat french fries kinda weird? At least I think so.
4. On a man breaking the record for most hours - 69 hours and 48 minutes watching TV:
Damn... I only made it 62 hours. He beat me!
5. On prisoners at an Illinois correctional center being locked down for four days after the Warden loses keys:
"I thought Hazzard County was further south ... those Duke boys are sure funny."
In the immortal words of Roscoe P Coltrane... WE'RE IN HOT PURSUIT... GOOT GEET NOOT!
6. On a building being evacuated after a man sets the carpet on fire with a massive shock of static electricity:
"That really is shocking (get it!)."
BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
7. On a former school building being used as a swingers club in Indiana:
"Thursday nights is bring your own pig night."
And Friday nights is dress up like a schoolgirl night, but only for the guys.
8. On State police officers finding a huge pot forest in West Virginia when they were looking for a downed plane:
"Gives a whole new meaning to the term, 'high as a kite.'"
Again I say.... BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
It's Monday and all, but two bad jokes in one posting? That's just wrong.
1. North Korea said they'd stop as long as the U.S. provides them with a "light water" reactor.
Of course, they would still do their programs and get a reactor out of it.
2. I will run naked through the streets when weasels fly!
3. Not just forks, but Grand Forks!
4. Hmmmmm, my eyes would bleed if I watched TV that long.
5. That just sucks. Poor convicts. No wait, if they didn't do their crime in the first place, they wouldn't be in there. So screw 'em!
6. I guess you could say that man has an electro-magnetic personality.
7. Yeah, I can see the county legislature deliberating....
What shall we do? Continue funding this school or turn it into a swinger's club? Swinger's club!
8. Cheech and Chong were sighted too, I hear.
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