Topical Chat, 9/26/05
Penn State football 4-0? Yeah, that used to be a given. But in the past 5-6 years, it has been a struggle - so congratulations PSU!
1. On the theory that a Russian-made electromagnetic generator caused Hurricane Katrina:
"That is just plain silly ... Everybody knows that Godzilla caused it."
2. On thieves in Thailand robbing a man at knife-point for his jeans and shoes:
"Are those Bugle Boy jeans you're wearing? Well, hand them over."
3. On the defense team in a court case wanting the defendant's nickname of "scuz" barred during a murder trial:
"Your honor, Scuz is the most god-fearing scumball I know."
4. On a 71-year-old woman being crowned Homecoming Queen at Northeaster State University:
"I'm not even sure where to begin on this one, because I know what the Homecoming Queen normally does after the dance ... and it doesn't start with taking off her dentures .... on second thought..."
5. On a puppy that swallowed a 13-inch knife and survived:
"Mr. P.T. Barnum is probably on the line with the owners as we speak."
6. On two trapeze instructors who saved a man in the Hudson River:
"These must be the owners."
7. On a teacher who got fired because she made some students clean up feces in the classroom:
"What's wrong with a clean classroom? "
8. On a proposal in White House, TN, that will prohibit sports being played in its park on Sunday mornings:
"Because only sinners play baseball before noon."
posted by Los @ 8:56 AM
2 guys/gals who rule
2 Comments:
Yea, Penn State! Yea, Penn State! Aw, who am I kidding?? I just don't give a flying frogs fat ass...
1. It wasn't the Russians or Godzilla... It was the aliens, dammit! Didn't any of you watch "Invasion"? (Weds at 10pm on ABC after "Lost"!)
2. So I guess the robbers' mugging plan was in-jean-ious?
3. If that's his nick, he should wear it.
4. Nasty, Karl, nasty.
5. Awwwwwwww, poor puppy!
6. Whatever, Karl.... association is one of your weak points, obviously.
7. Poopie!
8. And on the fifth day, God said "And there shall be no hitting of balls, throwing of pigskins, or bouncing of balls on the day of Rest" and it was good.
1. On the theory that a Russian-made electromagnetic generator caused Hurricane Katrina:
No way... it was the Penguin, and Batman didn't get there in time.
2. On thieves in Thailand robbing a man at knife-point for his jeans and shoes:
Hey... shoes can be expensive, especially those Air Jordans.
3. On the defense team in a court case wanting the defendant's nickname of "scuz" barred during a murder trial:
They'd rather call him by his other nickname... The Murderer.
4. On a 71-year-old woman being crowned Homecoming Queen at Northeaster State University:
I bet she did put out after the dance. She put out the trash, and put out the cat when she got home.
5. On a puppy that swallowed a 13-inch knife and survived:
I wouldn't want to survive that. Imagine the bowel movement... AAAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!
6. On two trapeze instructors who saved a man in the Hudson River:
I think we need to hire more circus people as lifeguards. Imagine a guy in clown shoes on Baywatch.
7. On a teacher who got fired because she made some students clean up feces in the classroom:
Some of the teachers at Glenolden School would have done that... the loons.
8. On a proposal in White House, TN, that will prohibit sports being played in its park on Sunday mornings:
It's Tennessee. Uncle Daddy won't let his little boy play sports on Sundays because they have to stay home and gang bang their sister.
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