October 12, 2005

Welcome to the best day of 2005 - the day that I go to the Rolling Stones concert!

1. On a 9-year-old who swam from Alcatraz Island to San Francisco to raise money for Hurricane victims:
"I guess the door-door begging wasn't producing enough money."

2. On a man who took over a freight train with a bow and arrow:
"Now, when you try to car-jack a train, I'm assuming it is easier to figure out where you are going, right?"

3. On a Chinese artist who paints with his tongue:
"This guy probably received thousands of phone calls and e-mails from women after this story broke."

4. On a Candidate for a government position in New Yor being busted for DWI twice in one night:
"Must've been a helluva campaign stop."

5. On a man in Michigan who has a goal of collecting 10,000 pencils:
"And I thought Bert's paperclip collection was kind of weird as a child."

6. On a new Smurfs short shown in Belgium in which UNICEF bombs the Smurfs:
"That is really smurfing weird."

7. On a new record of 1,700 feet at the Punkin Chunkin contest:
"Interesting to find out how some of these 'interesting' kinds of events started. I'm guessing beer was involved."

8. On a lady receiving a postcard from her daughter 27 years after she sent it to her:
"I'm hoping this wasn't anything dire, like her daughter asking her mother for a kidney, or something like that."