Topical Chat, November 14, 2005
The wife and I went to Gettysburg this weekend to celebrate our 2-year wedding anniversary. What a great town! So much history, so much legend, and a feeling that somebody is watching you all the time.
1. On the new Camaro that has 700 horsepower, goes from 0 to 120 mph in 11.5 seconds:
“I hear that the first 5,000 people to purchase this car get free gold chains, hair grease, and wife beaters (Those white tank-top undershirts).”
2. On the sudden death of WWE superstar, Eddie Guerrero:
“A sad day in professional wrestling. It may actually cause me to watch more WWE than the Eagles game tonight … especially if the Birds play as poorly as they have most of this season.”
3. On Pennsylvania possibly allowing hunters to wield an Atlatl, a weapon that some believe was used to slay wooly mammoths:
“I can’t wait until they legalize using hand grenades whilst hunting.”
4. On inmates in a Florida jail who grow hot peppers and sell 'Jailhouse Fire' hot sauce:
“First of all, I’m not so sure I’d be too excited to buy hot sauce from anybody in a prision. Second of all, do they have any ‘secret ingredients’ we should know about?”
5. On a rookie taxi driver in Illinois who, a week into his new job, delivered a baby in his cab:
“I wonder if he kept his meter running through the delivery?”
6. On a county in Indiana that is trying to sell a 1-square-inch plot of land, about size of postage stamp, for $1,500:
“Does an acre of land get you $1,500 in Indiana?”
7. On researchers saying that CPR can be learned in just 20 minutes, instead of the currently required four hours:
“No offense, but if I’m ever in need of CPR, I’m hoping that I get the person who took a class for four hours.”
8. On a guy in Palm Springs who called the cops after hearing some suspicious noises outside, and the cops finding an eight-foot tall pot plant and nearly $100,000 of marijuana:
“This guy sounds like he smoked himself retarded.”
posted by Los @ 9:34 AM
4 guys/gals who rule
4 Comments:
1. On the new Camaro that has 700 horsepower, goes from 0 to 120 mph in 11.5 seconds:
699 horsepower just wasn't enough, was it?
2. On the sudden death of WWE superstar, Eddie Guerrero:
This one hurts. The best tribute I can pay to Eddie Guerrero is that no one was better than him at making you hate his character. He could have an entire arena chanting "Eddie sucks!" In the wrestling world, that is actually a high honor to make the people care so much that they hate you as a heel. Kurt Angle has the same draw like that.
3. On Pennsylvania possibly allowing hunters to wield an Atlatl, a weapon that some believe was used to slay wooly mammoths:
Why do hunters need more powerful guns? If they were good hunters, they could survive with a handgun. Hunters are big weenies sometimes.
4. On inmates in a Florida jail who grow hot peppers and sell 'Jailhouse Fire' hot sauce:
I hope they don't profit from it.
5. On a rookie taxi driver in Illinois who, a week into his new job, delivered a baby in his cab:
"Congratulations! It's a boy! That will be $25.35, not including tip."
6. On a county in Indiana that is trying to sell a 1-square-inch plot of land, about size of postage stamp, for $1,500:
Great, you can grow one flower on that piece of land.
7. On researchers saying that CPR can be learned in just 20 minutes, instead of the currently required four hours:
It's not that hard. But I think an hour should be required at least.
8. On a guy in Palm Springs who called the cops after hearing some suspicious noises outside, and the cops finding an eight-foot tall pot plant and nearly $100,000 of marijuana:
I never knew pot plants got that tall.
I always feel like somebody's watching me....
1. Muscle cars!!!!! Whoooo! While the rest of the world is building smaller, more efficient cars; we're building gas-guzzling monsters!
2. Later man.
3. Next for deer hunting: chainsaws!
4. Spicy!
5. Dedication!
6. Oooooo... I could build the smallest house in the world on that square inch plot of land.
7. Agreed, if it came down to some yahoo who only took 20 minutes of CPR class, and someone who took the required 4 hours... I'll go with the 4 hours.
Oh, and by the way... DNR!
8. "What? That? That's just a really leafy and stinky, uh... Christmas Tree yeah that's it!"
"Why am I rolling up my Xmas tree and smoking it? Uh, the tinsel is good for me... yeah, that's it!"
"Why do I have christmas ornaments made into a three chamber bong?? That's actually an incense burner yeah! That's it!"
On Eddie Guerrero...these pictures say it all. He will be missed.
...“I hear that the first 5,000 people to purchase this car get free gold chains, hair grease, and wife beaters (Those white tank-top undershirts).”
- Thanks for the qualifier on the wife-beaters: I was thinking people were getting free Ike Turner clones when buying the car.
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