Topical Chat, December 12, 2005

Sorry about Friday, I have a couple of floating holidays to spend, and I figured I’d take one on Friday with that “massive snow storm” that never really happened – thank weather forecasters!

1. On the death of Richard Pryor:
“I convinced my mom to buy a Richard Pryor album for me when I was 10. My mom asked if he was dirty, and I said no. I had to listen to him in my basement really quietly. I’m hoping he’s eatin’ pussy in heaven now.”

2. On the city of New York opening a “rodent control academy” to help exterminators wage war on the city's rat population:
“Local politicians are sweating this one out.”

3. On a New Zealand man who tried to rob a bank by Phone:
“Yes, just stick the money in the ear hole.”

4. On a man who put together a Paris Hilton Christmas shrine in Rhode Island:
“Apparently, the residents were disgusted by the large meat curtains on the lawn.”

5. On police arresting “Banana Boy” and his bunch (apparently some sort of TV personality) after mistaking a skit for a real-life knife fight:
“Hopefully, he isn’t bruised …. Get it?”

6. On a lady that unexpectedly gave birth to a baby at Dairy Queen:
“This is my son John, and my daughter Blizzard.”

7. On an ex-con who stole a van three minutes after he was released from prison in Alaska:
“Looks like he was nicely rehabilitated … way to pace yourself, Mr. Thief.”

8. On an election for a city council seat in Utah being decided by a card draw:
“I think ESPN and CNN might get together for a new show called ‘The World Series of Politics.’”