Topical Chat, January 27, 2006

Hamas in charge of the Palestinians – why do I see trouble in the future with this?

1. On a motorist who was arrested in Colorado on Thursday for driving in a high-occupancy vehicle lane with a mannequin dressed to look like a passenger:
“Apparently, Andrew McCarthy is on the phone with his agent regarding the possibility of creating a final installment to the Mannequin movie trilogy.”

2. On a showing of the R-rated movie "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" during high school Spanish class in Kentucky this week resulting in a suspension for the teacher, who later resigned:
“I guess if this teachers showed Birth of a Nation, none of this would’ve happened.”

3. On a state lawmaker's handgun accidentally discharging in his office Thursday as he tried to unload it, sending a bullet zinging across the room (the bullet was stopped by a bulletproof vest hanging on the door):
“Sooner or later, he’ll hit the right target.”

4. On an alleged crack dealer in Kansas who was arrested by police, who used his business card to make the arrest:
“Afterwards, they shut down his website.”

5. On a robbery suspect who held up a diner in Oregon on Monday, then went back for seconds on Wednesday and wound up shooting himself in the foot:
“The suspect looks eerily similar to the state lawmaker mentioned earlier.”

6. On the country of Paris, which plans to begin converting its more than 200 self-sanitizing public toilets to work for free:
“Unfortunately, they will require long coffee breaks.”

7. On an atheist in Italy who is trying to sue a small-town parish priest for asserting that Jesus Christ existed:
“If only the state lawmaker was trying to unload his bullets near this guy.”

8. On applications to Seton Hall that were sent to overseas students that contained a phone number for phone sex (instead of Seton Hall’s number):
“Enrollments are up 65%.”