Topical Chat, January 25, 2006

Anyone else getting sick of news concerning “Brangelina?” I thought so.

1. On a gas bill sent to a guy in Ohio for $8,095 for 9 days of service:
“Either the gas company erred, or this is probably where one should consider alternative fuel sources.”

2. On adult diaper sales soaring in China because of long, crowded holiday train trips:
“Looks like China may find another income source – fertilizer exportation.”

3. On a PA couple winning $77,777 in the lottery on Tuesday, then getting married the next week:
“Sometimes it just doesn’t pay to win the lottery.”

4. On a Malaysia report blaming poor work performance on workers downloading porn, music and games:
“It probably has nothing to do with the bosses that allow this.”

5. On an engineer in Minnesota who built an 18-foot snowman:
“This is after he counted to infinity … twice.”

6. On a male Hasbrouck Heights high school senior who will be allowed to wear skirts to class, thanks to the American Civil Liberties Union the school district in Bergen County:
“Sometimes administrators should just get out of the way, and allow students to do this … and then allow fellow classmates to repeatedly shove the students in lockers.”

7. On two art students who removed the illuminated "S" from the clock tower at Wisconsin University early one morning in 1969, and confessed to the crime … 36 years later:
“They will be disciplined by being given season tickets to Green Bay Packers games.”

8. On a trooper getting hit with a prosthetic leg after stopping a vehicle for driving the wrong direction in Oregon:
“Looking on the positive side, the driver would probably have a difficult time getting away after that stunt.”