Topical Chat, February 6, 2006
Congrats to the Steelers for winning the Super Bowl – Cowher finally gets a well-deserved Super Bowl. Can we stop talking about Jerome “I let myself go a little this year” Bettis?
1. On an arcade claw game in Maine restaurants and bars that gives live lobsters, not stuffed animals, as prizes:
“You should see what the prizes are in the arcade claw games in Vegas.”
2. On a life-size, plastic traffic policeman that slows cars on a Russian highway:
“It also has 3 inputs.”
3. On University of Vermont offering a reward for the return of its 200-pound aluminum snarling mascot:
“I’m just wondering what kind of reward would be offered for the return of a 200-pound snarling aluminum mascot.”
4. On a 22-year-old man from San Jose, California, who won the Philadelphia Wing Bowl on Friday by setting a new record – eating 173 wings to take the title and top prize, a 2006 Suzuki Grand Vitara:
“Later, he contracted Avian Bird Flu and mentioned something about the sky falling.”
5. On a Massachusetts man who was charged with taking morphine from his mother's IV drip minutes after she died:
“I wonder where the line is that one must cross in order to admit he may have a problem.”
6. On a man who tried to sell cocaine to a uniformed deputy in Orlando, Florida:
“This guy may just have crossed that line.”
7. On a man in North Dakota who was convicted more than 40 times of drunken driving or driving without license getting a year in jail:
“Ah yes, the 40-strike, and you’re out rule.”
8. On a sailor who sent a message out to sea in a bottle receiving a reply from England - accusing him of littering:
“Sting could not be reached for comment.”
posted by Los @ 9:21 AM
2 guys/gals who rule
2 Comments:
Cowher, Bettis... meh, whatever.
1. In Amsterdam, I hear the prizes are whores.
2. And it's dressed like the cop from the Village People.
3. I wish I had a mascot... oh, wait, I do! Karl's my mascot! Do a little dance monkey-boy!
4. Hah! He'll be on the shitter for days!
5. Wow. Some people have no respect.
6. Hahahahahaaaa! Idiot.
7. Sometimes, I think the judicial system is too lenient.
8. It's message in a bottle for crying out loud! Some people have no sense of wonderment anymore.
1. I have seen one of those machines in Boston. If you win a lobster, they cook it for you on the spot. They had one at Dick's Last Resort in Boston a few years ago. I never tried it because the lobsters tend to run away from the claw after a while. They get wise.
2. Big deal... 7 plastic policemen are on Philly's payroll in one district alone.
3. I want to know how you steal one of those things quietly without getting caught. You just don't pick up 200 pounds of aluminum and walk off.
4. That is amazing. Amateurs are setting records now. Next year, they need him to face off against El Wingador and the Black Widow and really have a contest. I would go to that.
5. Yeah, it's time for an intervention there. Maybe the pain of mom passing away was so intense he felt he needed it. I don't know.
6. But did the deputy buy it? That would have been funnier.
7. He must have had a good lawyer.
8. What would happen if he sent out a message asking for a woman to come meet him? An accusation of soliciting?
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