Topical Chat, February 13, 2006

Now guys, don’t forget – tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, and even though your “special someone” said to not get her anything, she doesn’t mean it.

1. On Vice President Cheney shooting someone while hunting:
“Must’ve been a bleeding heart democrat...or atleast he was after the 'incident.'”

2. On a woman who was arrested in Florida after human head was found in luggage, allegedly for warding off evil spirits:
“Even though it warded off just about everybody, it didn’t ward of security, so she is asking for her money back.”

3. On a 77-year-old dentist who is accused of writing prescriptions in exchange for sex:
“Looks like you need some more of my special home-made ‘nova cane.”

4. On x-rated fortune cookies that were mistakenly served during a fundraiser for a Brooklyn politician:
“The politician is celebrating his victory today.”

5. On a woman in Arkansas who hung a sex offender sign on the wrong house:
“Bill Clinton accepted her apologies.”

6. On residents of the small New Zealand district of Cardrona voting unanimously to retain the area's "bra fence" - a farm fence out in the country with hundreds of discarded women's brassieres tied to it:
“No word yet on the fate of the jock-strap gate.”

7. On a North Dakota State student being arrested for calling a police station and asking to buy pot:
“Looks like he’ll have to put his fry cook aspirations on hold.”

8. On a ten-year-old boy thought he was giving candy to his friends on the school bus, but the youngster was actually passing out the illegal drug Ecstasy:“The long line at the water fountain tipped some people off."