Topical Chat, February 17, 2006
I watched the Olympics for more than ½ hour yesterday! Besides the women’s skeleton (not only does it sound awesome, it is!), they also showed this downhill snowboard race which was excellent as well. Of course, I’m sure they’ll go right back to figure skating, which will suck.
1. On Vietnam banning alcohol in karaoke bars as part of a campaign against so-called 'social evils:'
“Unfortunately, they are still allowing karaoke singing at these bars.”
2. On twenty-one North Korean cheerleaders being sent to a prison camp for talking about what they saw in the south:
“North Korean cheerleaders???? What could they possibly be cheering about? ‘one-two-three-four, all the people here are poor! Go North Korea!’”
3. On Washington State’s illegal marijuana harvest being ranked as its 8th-ranked agricultural commodity:
“So, would this hurt Washington’s economy if it were halted?”
4. On a man who claims he is obsessed with doorknobs, facing three years in prison for a burglary spree in which dozens of them were taken from construction sites:
“Unfortunately, the doors have no knobs where he is going … although he may be in luck – there may be a whole bunch of other ‘knobs’ for him.”
5. On a rowdy Stanford University mascot (the mascot is dressed as a tree) being fired after being discovered drunk during a basketball game:
“They asked him to ‘leave’ (get it?”
6. On drunk drivers in Taiwan who now have a choice with regards to their penalty - pay a fine or play mahjong with the elderly:
“It must be wonderful to have as much relevance as a drunk driving ticket.”
7. On 8 people in Japan who were duped into buying ‘supposedly rare U.S.’ 1-million-dollar bills (the U.S. has never produced 1-million dollar bills):
“Word has it that a man who was recently ‘sold’ a deed to the Brooklyn Bridge was sweating profusely.”
8. On a gym teacher in Florida who was arrested for allowing kids to skip gym class if they paid him $1 – apparently, he has made thousands of dollars on this:
“He was immediately asked to join the coaching staff at Florida State.”
posted by Los @ 9:03 AM
2 guys/gals who rule
2 Comments:
1. And apparently, you're only allowed to sing three songs at karaoke nights... the Vietnamese National Anthem, the Chinese National Anthem, or "Can't Get Enough of Your Love Babe" by Barry White. (I hear Barry White is big in Vietnam)
2. "1 missle, two missles, three missles, 4... we're gonna bomb your country then bomb some more!"
3. I hear the players on the Portland Trail Blazers want the team to move north now to take advantage of the... um, added benefits.
4. As long as he's not polishing the knobs we're fine (I can't believe I'm the first one who wrote this joke).
5. I don't want to get it, and whatever it is you have, don't give it to me.
6. As long as they don't have to polish the elderly's knobs, that's fine with me. (I love knob jokes)
7. They should have known it was fake that the picture on the 1 million dollar bill was Dan Quayle.
8. As long as the gym teacher didn't make them polish his kn... oh, forget it! That's too sick!
1. Social evils in Vietnam?? Naaaaahhh. No such thing.
2. Heh, that was actually funny Karl. But I think it goes '2-4-6-8, our lives are controlled by the state.'
3. I got nothing.
4. How the hell do you get obsessed with doorknobs????
5. Geez, Karl, that joke's bark is worse than it's bite! Get it?
6. Play Mahjongg!
7. I hear that someone else just discovered that ducks have teeth.
8. What? He's teaching those kids the value of a good deal!
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