Topical Chat, February 15, 2006

So, Rufus won Best in Show at Westminster … personally, I’d rather watch the movie “Best in Show,” Fred Willard was hysterical in it – plus, it is much more entertaining.

1. On Thailand's Scorpion Queen and Centipede King tying the knot on Valentine's Day:
“Rumor has it that Karl Rove was the overseeing the ceremony.”

2. On a man in Michigan who pleaded no contest to a sodomy charge involving a sheep, saying he should not have to register as a sex offender:
“No matter what the outcome, most would have to agree that the timing was baaaaaad (get it?).”

3. On an Ohio bowler who bowled 3 consecutive 300-games – only the 8th bowler on record to bowl a perfect 900 series.
“To celebrate, he ate 50 wings, and drank 2 pitchers of beer … he was quoted as saying, ‘Gotta keep myself in good bowling shape.’”

4. On a 62-year-old Ohio couple who are getting married at a funeral home:
“They are apparently taking their honeymoon at the morgue.”

5. On Administrators at Avenal State Prison saying they will have to kill more than 100 cats that have sneaked in and reproduced inside the facility:
“The prisoners are up in arms, because this is as close as they’ll get to real pussy for a while.”

6. On a first-grader win Syracuse, NY, who found more than 20 bags of marijuana in her locker:
“However, the teacher did allow the students to eat the brownies that she brought in.”

7. On a man was shot and injured when his hunting partner mistook his elbow for a squirrel:
“Dick Cheney (I don’t think I even need to elaborate on a joke involving a hunter at this point – Dick Cheney should be enough.).”

8.On the rumored split between Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes:
“Tom Cruise’s boyfriend was unavailable for comment.”