Topical Chat, February 22, 2006
So I hear that there is a “Fast and the Furious 3” movie that is coming out soon. Seriously, was there really enough interest after the first 2 (I’m still shocked there was a sequel) to create a third one?
1. On a Colombian woman giving birth to a 15-pound baby:
“The doctor immediately contemplated switching professions as he peppered the portly baby with the first of surely endless fat jokes.”
2. On a man who was pulled over by police in Indiana claiming his name was Robert even though he had a tattoo on his neck that said Cecil (the cops found tools and ingredients to make Meth in his car):
“Thank goodness they didn’t see the tattoo that he had on his lower-back that says “Ass-man.”
3. On siblings who had not seen each other since 1942 being reunited at an old-age home in West Lawn, PA:
“Both crapped their pants when they saw each other, but officials say this is normal, as they crap their pants on a consistent basis.”
4. On a nurse in Virginia giving birth in a bathroom … for the second time:
“I shall call you ‘Latrine!. Say hello to your sister Bidet!'”
5. On a Florida man who fatally bludgeoned his roommate with a sledgehammer and claw-hammer because there was no toilet paper in their home:
“This makes the Seinfeld ‘spare-a-square’ episode less funny for some reason.”
6. On local boosters in Burton, Ohio wanting their town, know as Pancake Town USA, to repaint its water tower to resemble a stack of flapjacks complete with dripping maple syrup and melting butter:
“No word on what the town of “Bird-in-Hand” wants to do with their tower.”
7. On a 31-year-old married mother of two visiting one strip club a month, paying for lap dances so she can talk to the strippers about God:
“If you join my cult…er religious affiliation, you can be just as annoying as I am.”
8. On Washington state's tough new anti-smoking law that has an unlikely opponent - a retired doctor who argues the ban is forcing elderly smokers in nursing homes to take unnecessary risks:
“Dr. Kevorkian was unavailable for comment.”
posted by Los @ 8:57 AM
6 guys/gals who rule
6 Comments:
1) Gestational Diabates? Poor fat baby..
2) That's just gay and not funny
3)I've been known to crap my pants too.. As a matter of fact one time I did, and I was wearing shorts.. I then went to JC Penneys and bought a pair if new jeans since my shorts were soiled. I was wish reverse at the mall and he was so STUPID that he didn't notice the change in attire.. Can you belive that?? Could could someone not notice the change from shorts to jeans??!?!?
4)When that baby wants to come out, you can't stop it..
5) I think it makes spare a square more funny. I could see Elanie doing that.
6) I say bird in hand does the same thing and then puts a pair of boxers on the water tower
7) I hope she doesn't go to my favorite place :)
8) I once worked in an old age home and I saw an old lady trying to light up a straw, it was pretty funny..
No, I think I can believe that Reverse didn't notice. However, he would notice if you purchased a pair of Superman jeans.
You both are so wise and correct on bot hcounts.
F and F 3???? Should be the Stupid and the Boring 3.
1. 15-pound baby? Holy crap.
2. My name's Robert! Robert! *takes a hit* Yeaaaaaaaah, Robert!
3. I saw this on TV last night, the old lady looked like she was going to cry. Made me sad.
4. Wow, the nurse didn't have enough sense to go to a friggin hospital? Why is she a nurse again?
5. You didn't buy TP? You used the last roll, and didn't buy any?? You motherf... *crash*
6. What about Intercourse or Blue Balls PA???? Let's see their painted watertowers!!!
7. "Nice ass, say have you ever shaken your ass for God? Seriously! If you get saved now, god will help you in your holy quest to shake your ass some more!"
8. Hey smokers, your problem, not ours! Go the fuck outside and smoke already.
Reverse REALLY did not notice.. No one even cares that I crapped myself... The real joke is how could reverse not notice.. Thank goodness the cherry hill mall still had their arcade at the time...
I explained to the group how the funny part was that I didn't know you changed your pants. To make sure they understood that you shitting yourself was not the funny part.
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