Topical Chat, February 24, 2006

Allen Iverson stays in Philly despite rumors of many trades including one for Kevin Garnett. So, the Sixers are fine being a sub-500 team. This should produce a big spike in attendance.

1. On the Illinois governor, Rod Blagojevich, being a bit miffed and befuddled after his interview on the Daily Show, because he didn’t realize it was a comedy show:
“Shouldn’t a guy in politics at the very least know about the Daily Show, especially, if he is going to be on the show? This guy is probably as well versed on today’s issues as Pat Robertson.”

2. On a zoo in Jerusalem putting a giraffe on birth control in an attempt to slow down the baby boom:
“For some reason, the giraffe’s neck is now flaccid.”

3. On Arkansas police arresting a homeless man for trying to steal a sheep from the zoo:
“Rumor has it, he had baaaad intentions.”

4. On urine samples being stolen from a Wisconsin probation and parole office:
“After news reached them, officials at the probation and parole office were pissed.”

5. On animal rights activists protesting after a teacher castrates a live pig in front of the high school class:
“Hey, this doesn’t taste like bacon!”

6. On a Japanese burglar who, according to police, picked victims by sniffing homes for expensive perfume:
“He could also tell what they had for dinner by sniffing the septic system.”

7. On a discount retailer in Massachusetts apologizing for advertising "wife beater" T-shirts in a store flier:
“No word on if they will be apologizing for the “shit kickers” sale in the shoe department.”

8. On a student at the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga who got a ticket for violating a city noise ordinance because he honked his car horn when he saw police stop their patrol car, turn on blue flashers to go through a red light and then turn the flashers off:
“The cop later threw somebody in jail without parole for j-walking.”