Topical Chat, March 27, 2006

Villanova was eliminated in the Elite 8 yesterday, but they shouldn’t be ashamed – they had a helluva run… Go Flyers!

1. On a Wisconsin couple that lost 125 pounds to win $1,200 as part of a radio contest:
“The funeral for the wife is Thursday.”

2. On the Malaysian government opening its first highway drive-in massage parlor with the aim of reducing accidents by easing tense muscles of stressed-out drivers:
“Car Poolers get free happy endings.”

3. On the Mayor of Sheridan, Wyoming, sponsoring a "pothole patrol" contest in which residents can e-mail the Mayor or call City Hall to vote their street as the worst in town for potholes (if their street wins, it gets moved up on the priority list):
“He is also contemplating a contest for neighborhoods with the highest murder rates.”

4. On Marines sending a recruitment letter to a 78-year old lady:
“Apparently, they are running low on machine guns, but having plenty of rolling pins.”

5. On Swiss Cheese taking top honors at this year’s World Championship Cheese Contest in Wisconsin:
“Ryan Seacrest came in second.”

6. On a St. Louis radio show host getting fired after using a racial epithet on the air while talking about Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice:
“He called her a liberal.”

7. On a small Easter display being removed from the lobby in the City Hall of St. Paul Minnesota out of concern that they would offend non-Christians.
“Funny. To many Religious Right members, the Easter Bunny already is offending.”

8. On the Illinois Department of Transportation putting newly installed signs along the Dan Ryan Expressway, which will undergo major reconstruction starting later this month, accidentally instructing motorists to call a sex-hotline instead of the toll-free number for information on alternate routes:
“Hey baby, I’d really like to lay some asphalt in your tunnel.”