Topical Chat, September 6, 2006

Penn State vs. Notre Dame this weekend – it will be such a … pity … to see all those faux Dome-Heads with their heads hung low after the Nittany Lions obliterate the Irish (please, oh please, oh please!!!!).

1. On the oft-delayed launch of the Space Shuttle Atlantis being delayed again … this time by a faulty fuel cell:
“If I were one of the astronauts, at this point, I might ask to be replaced.”

2. On college students … and moms … making ends meet by being strippers:
“This story made me think of my mom being a stripper …. And because of it, I threw up in my mouth.”

3. On a New Orleans homeowner, who abandoned his house shortly before Hurricane Katrina flooded it, suffering another shock to his system when he received a whopping $1,048.94 water bill in the mail (he hasn’t lived there in over a year):
“Well, not to defend the water company, but there was a lot of water in his house …”

4. On nude teens raising eyebrows in Vermont:]
“However, that’s not all they’re raising … if ya know what I mean.”

5. On investigators trying to figure out how a sewage worker died (he was found at the bottom of a 600,000 gallon sewage container):
“Talk about having a shit job…”

6. On a hospital in Wisconsin asking an artist whose paintings portray Jesus as a rabbi to take them down because they could be controversial:
“However, the paintings portraying him as a pimp are still o.k.”

7. On oil companies announcing that they found a new oil pool in the Gulf of Mexico:
“I am shocked at this occurrence, especially this close to election day … so, I’m guessing they couldn’t get Bin Laden, and this is why this announcement was made? Am I close?”

8. On a Seattle commuter train that goes by a nude beach every day:
“The funny part is that none of the commuters ever seem to complain about delays.”