Topical Chat, August 27, 2006

My liver and I both survived this weekend … BARELY!

1. On a man who robbed a Wachovia Bank making one small mistake that cost him most of his profits — he forgot to bring a bag to the put the money in:
“This guy really seems to have taken painstaking measures to plan out this robbery.”

2. On a new policy by Internet trading behemoth eBay that bans homeschool teachers' texts from its auctions – claiming that these falls under the category of "illegal, dangerous, offensive, or potentially infringing:”
“However, it is still legal to sell cottage cheese with that resembles the Virgin Mary.”

3. On a 47-year-old man who violated probation, not showing up to serve his time at the Winona County Jail because he was in a hospital for detoxification with a dangerous amount of alcohol in his system:
“Ted Kennedy was unavailable for comment.”

4. On one of Iran's most important nuclear facilities, a dome-shaped building where scientists have conducted secret experiments that could help the country build atomic bombs - It was provided to the Iranians by the United States:
“Hey, we just wanted to make it a fair fight.”

5. On traffic cameras that were installed to catch speeding motorists, catching city employees speeding or running red lights while driving city vehicles:
“From the ‘Maybe We Didn’t Think This Entirely Through’ Department.”

6. On towns in Germany and the Netherlands that are beginning to remove road signs in the hope of decongesting roads and making travel a less confusing experience:
“Removing raod signs to make travel less confusing??? Sounds like throwing the baby out with the bathwater.”

7. On lightning killing two musicians and injured three more standing under a tree during a funeral in the eastern Dutch town of Vorden:
“The good news is that the priest was already booked…”

8. On Bestbuy’s online ad that recommends the “Cybershit:”
“I think they may be taking this ‘Truth in Advertising’ a bit too far now.”