Topical Chat, August 21, 2006

Fantasy Football draft tomorrow night – I hope I get one of the first 3 picks!

1. On Rapper Busta Rhymes being arrested and charged with assault:
“The good news is this kind of publicity should help him with his new cd.”

2. On a man who called firefighters regarding a fire, then shooting at the same firefighters because they refused to rescue a cat from a tree:
“I’m guessing Mel Gibson though the firefighters were Jewish.”

3. On the Transportation Security Administration not including gel-filled bras on the new list of items forbidden from carry-on baggage:
“No word on penis implants.”

4. On thousands of Indians who drank from a polluted Arabian Sea creek after claims that its water had miraculously turned sweet and could cure illnesses:
“Sounds like a college prank that went too far.”

5. On the more than 100 young women who expressed interest in joining the military in the past year being upon sexually by their recruiters:
“Can’t wait to see the new Army recruiting commercials! Hey, Lookin' for some action?”

6. On the use of frog froth to treat wounds:
“You’re going to put WHAT on my cut?”

7. On people trying to book flights on Westjet by calling their 1-800 number, instead getting offers for one-on-one hot steamy sex:
“They may have taken peanuts and pillows away from us, but this promotion may be a keeper!”

8. On a bizarre road rage incident in which a mom and daughter riding horses were ambushed by a guy who jumped out of his truck and attacked them with an oar:
“This guy must’ve had a really bad experience at the circus as a youngster … either that, or he got a hold of some bad moonshine (or, he drank from that Indian water … OR he got hold of some bad frog froth.”